Thursday, March 26, 2009

A funny advert

Just a mini post: I shall hopefully update a little more about the Bandy final and what not, but for now I'll be boring and show you this advert from TV. I think its very very funny more because of this weird sound Swedes make mainly when talking on the phone, its like the sound you make when you suck back in spit- NO I'm NOT making this up: it's the most un-natural sound you could imagine and the best part is, Swedes don't even realize they are making it.

So this advert (from my point of view) is a celebration of a noise not so disimilar to the one made, the whole point is very different from mine, but still funny : )

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Living the dream


Very short one: a ronseal title (non Brits must google it: 'exactly what it says on the tin'). One of my dreams was always to play the guitar. I once tried the violin for like 3 weeks and realized I was way too cool for school (ok, I sucked balls, but 3 weeks- I was an impatient kid). So I've done it, no not played the guitar- but the first step in giving up alcohol is to admit you have a problem?! I've ordered an electric guitar- no acoustic crap, full on rock out, haha.

It will take years to make it sound like I'm not killing/strangling/torturing it, but I have the patience, a great singing voice (haha) and an amp. Job done I say.

I have ordered a blue one, NOT a pink one, no really I have, honest.

Life is not like a box of chocolates


I had one of those kinda of weird thought moments last weekend (snowboarding) when riding the lift. I must have spaced out or whatever, started staring at the snow covered trees, thinking life isn't like a box of chocolates as the great Forrest Gump ('s mother actually) once said.

Life doesn't give you the shits if you have too much of it, you know exactly what's inside the box, life isn't as bitter as dark chocolate makes out to be, you can sugar coat those fancy chocolates all you want- we all know it's full of shit on the inside.

Instead, in my slightly arty farty, stonerish thought, I had a pure moment thinking life really is like a tree.

No, I'm not crazy and the coconut, an eco-warrior, high, drunk or any other imaginable trait. It was like that kind of weird moment in American Beauty with the bag floating around in the air thing, but less 'beautiful'/homo.

I mean just think about it: we start off at the ground, we take experiences and grow, we try new things and 'branch out' (no lame pun intended). We occasionally have setbacks (no not like someone making paper out of us, more leaves falling off) but we keep reaching for higher ground, we never stop pushing forwards (or up and outwards), we are healthiest when not intoxicated (pollution/McDonalds....all the same right?!), we live a long time but sometimes stay in the same place (more applicable to 90% of people), we provide life for others.............

I guess analogies to life are often stupid to make, and no doubt this could be one. It was just a thought anyway. All I do know is life definitely isn't like a box of Thornton's chocolates (apart from costing a fortune): they are all full of nuts and I'm not that way inclined.......


Monday, March 9, 2009

Time for a moan


My inspiration for writing has been somewhat drained recently. I don't know why, may be it's because there's not so much to talk about/I'm bored/I'm boring/just plain can't be arsed. As I haven't had a moan for a while, just wanted to bring up 2 or 3 things.

Firstly, how can the death of Martha Stewart's dog make UK national headlines on the biggest (or 2nd biggest) news broadcaster? Who gives a shit?! There MUST be something else to tell us?! Like where you've put all those illegal immigrants........

Oh yeah, the dogs name was Ghenghis Khan......

If that wasn't bad enough, it was a Chow Chow......guess it really is chow now.

Two other gripes of mine right now are the whole Beckham saga and Jade Goody cancer thing. Briefly with the Beckham thing, turns out he's now staying at AC Milan until the rest of their season. The problem with this? Apart from the '250million' dollar contract he signed with retard united, aka LA Galaxy. He apparently has funded his own move to Milan. Being a potential role model (for who, I'm not sure), I'm a little annoyed by how he doesn't need to honour his contract. One minute he's living for the money (why else would you 'want' to play 'soccer' in the US?!) and his 'celebrity' wannabe status. The next he's realized he's joined the worst team in the World and knows that his career could be saved by being a substitute for a half rate Italian team. How does this work in real life? Can you just sign a contract for a house/job/mortgage then blow it off 2 mins later? Erm....yes, apparently you can be above the law.

That rant over. Next one is this whole Jade Goody thing. For those who don't know, Jade Goody was a contestant on the amazingly shite Big Brother. She's 27 or something, but now has terminal cervical cancer. Now don't get me wrong, this is very bad and no doubt her soon to be death is not a good thing. She's leaving behind 2 kids and a now new hubby who's just about to be released from prison again (or something like that). The problem is, she is an obnoxious, racist, ugly, un-intelligent person, who before you knew she had cancer was a complete moron: she's one of these Z list celebrities, who is a total no-body. With half a brain cell, completely racist and stupid comments about everything, she is one of those easy to hate people. However suddenly she 'gets' cancer, not just that, but terminal, now she's up shit creak with a paddle and becomes everyones sob story. I do 'feel' for her kids, not only will they be motherless but have a convict for a dad, what a great life. They will be rich however: OK not a great consolation.

Why are the public so fickle? If Bin Laden got cancer would we all feel sorry for him? Probably. Ok, not a fair comparison, although both racist, Jade Goody hasn't officially killed anyone or told anyone to fly planes in to very tall buildings. I don't like how people are sooo artificial. I'm not going to start loving someone when they are horrible/terrible people just because they are prematurely dying. This sympathy is misdirected. So many people have said 'Have you no compassion' on the comments surrounding this whole story (not to me, but to other critics of this person). Whatever comes from this, there are sooo many people in the Western World who are battling and suffering through cancer: there are so many that struggle, who fight for charity work, who have a great outlook on life, despite their circumstance. To suddenly start reading the bible, drinking holy water and what not does not suddenly make you a good person. When that time comes, I cringe at the thought of her probably messed up kids. If we actually had a society left in this place called England, these poor excuses for people wouldn't be allowed to have kids. We create life in an instant, we destroy it over a lifetime and no one is held to blame. Today's World and society is one I didn't grow up in: it shouldn't be normal for kids to grow up in a single parent household, to have parents who go to jail and the list could go on. It's a never ending downward spiral and sad to say, it's because of non-educated people like this Jade Goody.

I'm not heartless, this is how I'd feel if she was non terminal, it shouldn't make a difference. I feel for those who've gone through cancer, whether they've won or lost their battle. If they are decent people and have lived their life, that is why we are here. Kudos to you. Don't rely on your misfortune for people to try and take any possible positive from it. Again, 'It's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years'.

Monday, March 2, 2009

Some good news


Johanna is pregnant...........

JUST KIDDING!!!!!!!!

No really, I'd rather chop my nutsack off with a spoon than go down that road. Ok, back to the real news: I was in the lab a little late today, it was approaching 5.45pm when I heard my name being called, you know in that 'oh crap I've done something wrong' type voice.

Sending a tingle down my spine, I stick my head round the corner of my supervisors office and I get a pretty straight forward question 'Do you want to carry on with the work?' My reply: 'You mean over the Summer?' The follow up: 'No I mean as a PhD'........'Erm......'

To put it midly, I was shocked. It was one of those moments that makes your head spin, after the first few minutes of not really realizing what was just said! I told my Supervisor that I needed some time to think about it, and so the story ends.

I haven't made a decision and need to think about it.....when life seems so complicated for lack of knowing the next step, how can the decision be so hard when it's on a plate!!!

Changing the subject somewhat, J is still recovering from our house warming get together (on Saturday). Yup, she chundered (apparently, as she didn't wake me!) so was/is a little worse for wear. I might write a bit more about it soon. All I can say is, I haven't laughed that much for a while: we have the stupid pics to prove it!