Almost Xmas

This weekend was a first again for me- I managed to drive into a ditch. No, sorry there arent any hilarious photos (honest I promise), but basically the snow depth in Uppsala at the mo, is very deep. We went off down the beaten-track to find a shop and the road got tight. I moved over, the other car didnt bother, I moved a bit more, then suddenly I got sucked down into the abyss.

Luckily, the next driver who actually stopped (yeah thanks for driving off nob) knew the local farmer, who literally 5 mins after, came with his tractor, winched us out and job done.

It could have been worse- take my trip back from squash in Stockholm today. The snow storm today has been crazy, you cant really see anything on the roads and obviously a fellow driver found out the hard way. Just on the Arlanda sliproad, there were 2 ambulances, 1 police car and 3 firetrucks, next to a car facing the wrong way, on its roof! Hopefully they came out of it alive, was not good to see.

I just wanted to write a quick one to say me and Johanna are expanding our family.....It's a boy.

No not quite what you think, it's a male alright, named Oskar. I haven't got any pics myself but the person who I bought him off (no really, he's not from Thailand, it's not like that!) kindly provided me with a few samples, one of which is shown below:

He's 7 months old and the technical full name is a Baldy super hypo tangerine carrottail (thats his polymorphism) leopard gecko, otherwise known as Oskar.

Charlie stared at him for a good few minutes when he got home, so now we are officially a zoo. We have a dog, a lizard, and a monkey, well and me.

So Xmas round the corner, I've been a good boy this year so Santa Johanna better get me something good.....

Says it all about England

Hope this link works, a true summary of why I will never go back to the hole!

Busy bee

Moving flat, concert in Stockholm and a trip to New York. Normally this wouldn't be an issue I hear you say, but they happened on three consecutive days......

The fallout from this was in a word, tough. The day after our little big apple break, I had a presentation then two days later, a four hour lecture on T-cells.......

Big deal right? Stop whinging I hear you say.....well minus a mini-disaster on our return flight (in summary- our seats were released because we were late, well that's the airlines story, but we were in fact very much on time.....can tell you more if you're interested), jet-lag and a slightly dented/mishaped car (also a story in itself, absolutely not the person in questions fault (poor girl) but friggin buses....), all our things are in boxes, magically disappearing when trying to find lets say, underwear.....you know, things you kind of need unless you want to smell like a tramp (which I don't by the way).

Ok, I really shouldn't moan at all, we have a very large (in comparison to our last) flat, been on a great holiday and I really think I have the best lady in the world, so nothing bad whatsoever actually.

I might put some pics up soon, of NY I mean, pretty awesome place. My reason for posting something was to just clarify I have not left this planet (well may be not physically, may be mentally) and I'm still here. We've had the first snow of the winter, although it's quickly melting, our little bear thinks it's quite fun- my arm at the end of the leash thinks otherwise........

Sod it

Here are a couple of Biffy Clyro songs from their newest album. Can you tell they're Scottish?!

Bubbles:

Many of Horror:

Don't listen to it all, but see if you can understand the normal chat:

Trapt, Alter Bridge and Biffy Clyro

Well well, it's that amazing time of year where for some reason, lots of bands release new albums and tour quite a bit. That time has arrived for a few of the groups I like, so I have acquired some new albums, completely legit.

I have the luxury of having tickets for Alter Bridge and Biffy Clyro, so can't wait to see them. I found a very crappy video (well it has misspelt lyrics) of Trapt's new album titled song, No Apologies. I think it's a pretty good song so have a listen:

Mini update as I can't really be arsed to write much:

We move to our new flat on 1st November. Charlie weighs over 31 kg now (7.5 months old). England squash players won a clean sweep of medals in Commmonwealth games- guess what? No-one cares! If the British press realized they wouldn't know how to report such success as we are truelly useless as a nation normally. My knee is getting better, I have a squash tournament this weekend, so will see if it falls off.

That'll do donkey, that'll do....

The bear

Just realized I haven't really put any pictures of our dog up. Here's a nice one we took a month ago (6 months old).

Just awesome

To the average person this may not seem much, but if you play squash or may be even tennis (sorry) etc you might understand how awesome this is:

Done deal?

Well it's signed.

No money transfer just yet though, but hopefully no hiccups.

Meaning we've just bought a new flat (well does 1959 count as 'new'?) : )

It's a 3 room (i.e 2 beds and living room) flat in the next block next to ours, so providing everything on the paper work side goes through, we won't have to move far!

Our little one room flat will be on the market next Monday and has two weeks of advertising before the show day (I'm not going to explain the Swedish system), then bring on the offers.

So now if anyone wants to visit, they might have more choice of places to sleep, from the bathroom if they get too drunk, or the sofa for some nostalgia of our current place or even the second bedroom.....

I'll put pictures up in a month (as that's when we move), yes, the Swedish efficiency is way better than the English.

So keep your fingers crossed that nothing stupid happens.

I should be a physio.....or a vet

Just got back from the physio and guess what? My self diagnosis was right, I do indeed have Illiotibial band (friction) syndrome or ITB(F)S.

The physio had a good reaction after seeing how out of line my leg is, i.e. where the muscle line runs and how my foot is at a strange angle to my knee, an 'oj shit' were the words that came out.

No surprises with the treatment though, a few stretches and some rest. He's going to take a look at my hip (rotation etc) in 2 weeks, so will rest up waiting for me to hit the squash courts again.

My reasoning for the vet is similar too. Our little monster had a hurrendous limp, to the point of not walking, so back down the clinic, some painkillers prescribed and the diagnosis of panosteitis or pano.....I got it in one, haha

May be I'm in the wrong business.

I have a brain, honestly.

My leg still hurts, but physio tomorrow. Hopefully the guy can speak English (I'm 110% sure he will be able to as everyone can over here, it's so annoying) as I might have to come up with my best Swedish translation 'jag har ont i mitt knä'. Think he will laugh and think I'm truelly retarded.

Speaking of which, I think the people living in our area do believe I'm a bit special. You have to understand that they, on appearance only, think I'm Swedish and not say, English, as I'm far too skinny and non-chav like.

This gets me in trouble a lot, no not because I've done something wrong per se, but more that normally when someone speaks to you and asks you questions, you formulate a nice response that shows intelligence and insight into your life. Well I'm fine up to a point, but when people start joking or talking about how much fat is in our plumbing, my language skills disappear faster than Usain Bolt.

This leads me to replying like a complete moron with a hideous 'yes' or 'no' or even a muttering of some weird sound (this is actually part of regular conversation in Sweden). When I get that weird look after I know I've said something very wrong......so you see, people really do think I'm special.

It doesn't help that everyone here is 90, which begs the question as to why is a young 20 something male living here- there must be something wrong with him......

So ironically it's like living a double life. I'm studying for the highest degree possible, in molecular immunology yet I'm speaking Swedish at a solid 3 year old level.

It really does bring you back to reality (well I didn't stray too far to start with actually).

On a slightly non-retarded note, it's not the song I wanted to show but it aint half bad (I told you I am clever...), check out the brains behind 'Something Corporate', a side project called 'Jack's Mannequin':

Stockholm half marathon

Well I'm paying for my over-confidence.....well yes and no, some partial truth to that. You see I'm sitting here with hurrendous knee pain (only when I bend it, so that's fine!!?!), due to my old mans DNA, yup cheers for that right leg.

I'm seeing the physio next Thursday, so have a week left of my peg-legged pirate impression.

The story is that to be a good runner, or good at anything for that matter, you must practise exactly what skill or sport you wish to improve in. Meaning, to be a better runner you must run.

Well I don't want to be a better runner so I didn't run. However, as my body is no spring chicken anymore, I made the fatal error of running the half marathon with literally no practice of running yet thinking I could do it in 1 hr 45.

Well I didn't manage the 1 hr 45, I did it in 1 hr 40 mins 56 secs : ) But as my body was not ready for it, I now can't walk properly. No it isn't muscular as such, more a mechanical defect- my bowed right leg, my high arches and my 2 cm extra length all have contributed to wait for it.....self diagnosis here, ITBS or iliotibial band syndrome (look it up).

All in all it hurts like buggery. Was it worth it? Erm....in a word, no.

I'm now out of the first squash league match in a week (I'm in Stockholm squash clubs 1st team in division 1 : ) ) as well as a competition this weekend. I can't walk our dog properly and it takes me friggin ages to get anywhere!!

So hopefully with some stretches, rehab ideas, may be a new knee....I could be on the beautiful road to recovery soon.

Next years goal is under 1 hr 40, providing I can run again. Johanna promised me if I could beat her by 30 mins she would pay for a trip to NY for me. Well I gave it a go, but Johanna was too quick and ran a very impressive 1 hr 56 min 59 secs so a mere 16 mins quicker : (

My old man did a great job too......of looking after the dog. No, but seriously was awesome to help us out. He will run it next year, so will my sister.....she just doesn't know it yet.

p.s. The pope is officially a cock. Despite touching up kids, now the freak thinks athiests are Nazi's.......Honestly, get the kiddy fiddling paedo out of the country back to molesting the masses all over the World. So apparently I'm Hitler......

What do you call a gay dinosaur?

A mega-saur-ass.

I couldn't think of a title or something to really write about, so apologies for that 'joke'. A quick update on Charlie bear, he's almost 20 weeks/5 months, (well tomorrow actually) and now weighs 20.2 kg. He's lost/gained about 4-5 adult teeth and his fur is shedding, so getting old, haha.

We've given him a new toy, no not a bone, not a dead animal etc.....but a racketball ball (sounds strange saying ball twice in the same sentence). It's perfect, well almost. It's small, soft, chewy, perfect to fit in his mouth. Two things which aren't so great are the dribble lines left as the ball roles away. Plus he must be the laziest puppy/dog ever- as soon as he kicks/roles the ball away, he just stares at it, expecting it to magically come back or looks at us expecting us to magically throw it back. What a dog. To give you some idea what raging, savage beast we have to live with, check out this picture:

Such a wild dog......

The writer has left the building

Not that I was very good at this writing thing, but recently I've just kind of forgotten about the blog stuff. I want to write something I am in the mood for discussing etc. At the moment I'm not 'feeling' it.

I'm just sitting here, watching my little bear eat his toys, in 25 degree heat at 9.30 pm, listening to 'Once in a Lifetime' by Talking Heads......all about not coping with what you have......no don't worry, I'm not going to be the cynic, I'm not depressed, I'm not in a bad mood....just a good tune actually.

I'm Johannaless (yes that's a real word) for those who don't know. Kind of funny actually, as she's in England, you know, chaving it up.....ok, not really, but she really is over there.

Like most of the people, I watched the World Cup final, but was disappointed about how crap it was. Unlike the Holland we know, they resorted to a kind of 'kick the shit out of the other team' mentality. I've never seen such an awesome karate kid drop kick on a football pitch:

The funny thing was Mr. De Jong only got booked for it! Haha, classic. Ok, the real one, as inspired from Jean Claude Van Damme:

Anyways, all joking aside, the Netherlands were dirty, Spain were crap until the end, but ultimately deserved to win the match and the whole competition, so fair play really. Think the Dutch need to go back to what they do best.......no not build windmills, get stoned and watch tulips grow.....play some nice attacking football.

Ok, football talk over. Well, one more thing- I don't know if any one else agrees with me, but I think this World Cup was incredibly dull. I'm not a huge football fan anyway, but seriously, a very boring event, nice to see this 'entertaining' sport is truelly, well.....tedious. I'd rather watch paint dry is kind of unfair on the paint.

Rambling continuing- we've had some outrageously awesome weather over here (yes, I'm English so have to talk about this interesting topic). It's been 26-30 degrees for a good few weeks, so much so these people who think Sweden is full of igloos in summer, are truelly going to eat their own words. When you sweat and you are not even moving, you know it's hot. And no, I'm not obese or American (same thing?!) and no I'm not wearing a coat or anything, it is genuinly tropical. So unlike in England where they have hose pipe bans, haha, living in the third World, and have 'weather warnings' for the heat, all other countries including this one, just get on with it.

So I await the return of my lady, all drugged up on Starbucks coffee, full of English cheer, beer and kebabs.....ok, I'm talking shite now, but I'm praying she doesn't come back with any tattoos, shaved heads, football shirts or better yet her jubblies hanging out, her ass cheeks spread out and her naval hitting me in the face....ok, I really will shut up now.

Seriously, can't wait to see my Swede, it's not been that long, but it's nice to go to sleep with a beautiful young lady instead of furry, bear like monster......or may be they are one in the same?! And no, Charlie doesn't sleep with me, for one he is too big to fit in the bed, ok, seriously I'm not one of these animal freaks who sleeps with their pets. It's bad enough if Johanna hasn't shaved her legs for a week, but a whole furry dog.....come on.

What is slightly annoying is that we don't need alarms to wake us up anymore. Just a paw slap in the face and a lick does the job nicely. Then to rub salt in the wounds, you get up and the little bugger goes back to sleep again. He's good at playing the game.....

So 18 weeks old now and at least 18 kg (haven't weighed him this week), but probably closer to 19 kg. It sounds like I'm talking about my kid (no, don't have any of them by the way), but what can I say. He is my dog, he is a pet, a damn cute one at that. Sometimes we can learn a lot from our pets. I mean their lifestyle is as Homer Simpson-esque as it can be. You eat, sleep, eat, sleep crap.....in no particular order. You run around, the World is one big toilet (ok, men have that one covered already), work is getting petted, fed and best of all someone picks your shit up after you. What a life.

Seriouly what I mean was animals, especially dogs, live in the now. They don't predict the future, they don't anticipate what's coming next, they react to what's happening now. Life wouldn't be so scary if we didn't plan for the worst, be fearful of the unknown. People are happy to see them, well minus say a pitbull biting your face off (no I know not all pitbulls are like that, just stereotyping for you), always in a good mood......yadda yadda yadda.

It's tough competing for Johanna's love with Charlie, I mean he's younger than me, is charming, is annoyingly cute, is softer to touch (sounds a little weird?!) etc. But there's one comfort that sits nicely with me- (I'm watching Boogie Nights, so wait for it......) I am and will always be Dirk Diggler in comparison to my four-legged friend.

p.s. I'm not really competing with my pet for Johanna's heart......haha. No honestly........

England- yes, says it all!

Well I've been busy. I haven't disappeared altogether! Can't be arsed really to yack about what I've been doing, but just wanted to comment on the England World cup disaster.

It's not surprising they lost. They are crap.

May be Germany have done England/the Premiership some good. May be things might change now. Why is the English league full of foreigners? It's not the answer at all, look at Argentina as a prime example. Their domestic league isn't great but national team is very good. This pattern is actually more common than you think.

Well more importantly in my eyes is the youth systems, English clubs are very bad at producing any talent. All the good national team youth systems have players who probably never kicked a full size ball, over head height, with more than 2 touches up until they were 15. English football doesn't promote talent or passion- no individual skill. Why is it that almost every team has at least one incredibly skillfull player. Where is Englands?!

Footballers in England (at least) are genuinly retarded- they are too stupid to win. Football is blissfully simple, yet no-one in the England team has a brain to create space to have any concept of forward thinking.

They are overpaid, passionless players who see it as a right to be in the team. They lack the basic skills/ability to play at International level- just watch any of their World cup games.

English football needs an overhaul- there are no English players in the team playing in other European leagues, why? Well because the players can't cope with that style- attacking, flair football. Why do footballers get paid to play for their country? Think the motivation to play football has long since been lost against the desire for money.

When you can't do the simple things properly, there is no hope. No passion, no talent, no nothing. The best idea ever in football is to have performance based pay. At a normal job you get sacked for doing a crap job, so why do you get paid millions to be useless in football?

The chumps should owe money if they lose or play badly. I'm just watching the Argentina match and it wouldn't have mattered if we'd have beaten Germany- we would have been destroyed by this team.

Despite Maradona being a royal prick, at least he has passion (or drugs), which he clearly feeds to his players. They look like they want to be there!

One consolation for England is that it can only get better. An unfortunate dis-allowed goal may have cost them, but if you don't do the business you don't deserve to win. So despite this, they still let in 4 goals. Why oh why do they not use replays? This would cut the diving, the uncertainty, the indecision. Job done, but no, they continue to ignore this easy answer to improve the game.

This is definitely another day, where I'm glad not to be in England, the next thing is to change my nationality. Erm problem there is that if its based on football- and thank f**k it's not, as Sweden are just as bad (the difference being they have 6 times less people to choose from and don't claim to be good at football- their top league has attendences of as low as a few hundred people for smaller teams, getting paid around 20 k a year), I would have to marry a German, haha. Ok, not going to happen.

Ironically, we've just been to a wedding- on Öland, a lovely little island just off the south eastish coast. So that's inspiration to get married.........erm........If it means I can become Swedish, then may be I might just do it.......at least I don't have to get nervous wondering if the football team will win or lose in the World cup..........

Plan Three

Not that new, but pretty unheard of at the moment. A decent Swedish band, who is not frigging ABBA or Roxette.

We've seen them live already, supporting 3 Doors Down. They are along the lines of Dead by April etc, so their newest release off their debut album Screaming Our Sins, is the song 'Brush it off'.

No official video, so I picked the least gayest video off the tube of the U.

Skillet

Well despite the connotation of being a Christian rock band (isn't that ironic/blasphemous or something), the band Skillet aren't half bad.

The lyrics aren't overly preachy, you know God is great and all that crap. Being an Atheist myself (well there is a God actually and he's Norwegian, 36 and goes by the name of Terje Håkonsen) you can adapt these lyrics to someone you like/love instead of this imaginery floating being in the sky somewhere (what 'The invention of lying' for some insight into that!!).

Anyway, a song from a few years back, yes it's pretty generic rock, but still easy to listen to. Without further ado here is Skillet with Re-birthing:

Guess who....again

Thanks Johannes (no that's not a miss spelling of Johanna by the way)

Charlie

Well it's been a week already with the little (big) poop machine. He's struggling a bit in the heat as it's been 20 degrees plus for a few days.

Anyways, I can't be arsed to write something now, just wanted to post a quick picture of the Thorpe-Andersson family, haha.

My second paper

Well good news, my first paper to use in my PhD. Published in FEBS journal, so not too bad!

Title is 'Arg143 and Lys192 of the human mast cell chymase mediate the preference for acidic amino acids in position P2' of substrates'

If you want to read I can send you the article! (Ok, so no-one will, but I'm just being polite)

The only gay in the village

Well another comedic headline from the UK. Obviously there is a close eye on the election in UK. Well in Scotland at least (like a more ginger, skirt wearing England) one man has got himself in trouble for saying something that 99% of people agree with. The man in trouble is Philip Lardner, who has simply said he would tolerate "common sense equality and respect" for gay people but "will not accept that their behaviour is 'normal' or encourage children to indulge in it."

Now he has been suspended. It's a bizarre place this stupid country they call England. I mean they go so PC (that's politically correct, not personal computer) that no-one can speak their mind, even when it's something as 'normal' as this. So we should be going round promoting everyone to be gay? I hate to tell these over-the-top gay rights activists, but us 'straight' weirdos don't go round saying how proud we are to the point of abuse, that we love the opposite sex. It was Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve (apparently).

Plus it can't be that natural to want to bone the same sex, I mean it doesn't physically work and biologically gives no result, so why should we openly promote being gay?! So this poor guy has been shafted (not in that way) because he said something nearly everyone agrees with- he even said he would 'tolerate' in terms of respect and what not, so whats the big deal.

This place has lost the plot entirely. I think it's hilarious that women are allowed their feminist groups, religion has it's cult (well that's a talking point isn't it) and kiddy fiddling priests, 'ethnic minorities' (whatever that means, remember we have to be 'multicultural') have their protests etc, but imagine if white men started their own groups? Only males gyms? Only male drivers insurance companies?! Haha, we'd be locked up straight away.

When the curry is our national dish and Mohammed is the second most common name, to say something so run of the mill, yet to get bashed for it, is just amazing. Society is all but over, everyone is afraid of everyone. To win an election is so easy- do not say you need to raise more money, i.e. tax. Do not introduce such jokes as ASBO's. Do something to sort out these little punk ass kids, this chav culture, which doesn't exist in any other country. Start sorting out the criminals and protecting the victims.

However, all these chumps can't really run a country. The labour/conservatives are the same, lib dems don't know anything either. That leaves a monkey with a banana, which could actually do a better job. The BNP have some good policies, but go about in completely the wrong way, and before you say it, no I'm not racist and no I wouldn't willingly vote for anyone. That is the problem- these MP's are so far from reality. Was it not recently Eddie Izzard, a die hard labour fan, was completely offended at peoples comments that this shithole country was 'broken'. He genuinly believes labour haven't cocked it. What a nob. Ignorance is bliss. Open your eyes, because something needs to change. Mass overpopulation, immigrants flooding society, schools not being able to punish kids, teenage pregnancies, all contribute to the downward spiral. The futures definitely not bright, it's definitely not f**king orange. My advice, leave the shithole, go to Australia or something. Anywhere is better- do it now before it's too late!!

Doggies everywhere

Well, we met the little poop machines today, plus a 55 kg male who's meeting with Johanna ended up with here being knocked over into a chair- was pretty funny actually. Not much you can do when you are caught off-guard by a bear....

So 5 weeks old and 4 kg


This little thing will be ours in 3 weeks


It might grow to this size- He's the one who sat Johanna down. It's hard to tell from the pic, but his paws are as big as our feet and his head is somewhat larger than Johannas (that's not a dig at her brain size). Lets just say he's bigger than he looks here!

Another April first?!

Well again, (ok, yes I inadvertently clicked on the 'news') Sky have a headline 'Tennis Star To Be Quizzed Over 'Sex Attack'. Well this is wrong in every sense of the word as Dan Evans, the 7th best British tennis player is actually ranked 365 in the world!

What 'star' is ranked 365th in the world at anything?! A star implies you are good at something. Ironically, being this shit pays off- he's played only 3 crappy tournaments and won nothing this year yet he still has 12,000 dollars in the bank!!!!! What the fudgeroo?! How is that possible? Well obviously I completely missed the point of the story, just some drunk thing- you know, the usual English behaviour. I got slightly caught up in the rage of how this story made headlines and the red mist appeared after the word 'star' was used.

Unless you have won anything or are a luminous ball of plasma held together by gravity, do not claim that you are a star (well I know Mr. Evans didn't say it himself, but anyway).

On a completely unrelated topic, our little monster is 3 weeks old now. Check out this pic, we have one of the two on the left, or both depending if we can leave one behind......(just kidding)

Motorists Hit By Road Tax And Duty Rise

After reading the title of this article on Sky news (which by the way is just soo bad, it really is up there with 'the Sun'), I thought of the date and it all came clear: the British government are having a laugh, nice try, you nearly got me.

Or are they serious? They must be kidding right? Yeah, there's no way they are going to increase petrol and duty tax on a new car, surely? Do they take us for muggs? Well, yes actually........

More numpties

Whilst I sit here waiting for my restriction digest to finish, just had a glimpse at the 'news' from Sky. Despite the vast maze of absolute shite, which they indeed call 'news' I found another blinding story.

So last week two muppets decide to take the legal drug/high whatever you want to call it, mephedrone. Not surprisingly they died.

Now, one week on, another muppet has taken it and guess what, she's dead.

Reporting on this story, another talented journalist, who's ending line (in the context of medical experts advising not to take this substance) of his report was:

'It is simply not known how safe it is'. Well genius, 3 people have died from taking it within 2 weeks. Let me tell you how safe it is: Not very.

Well like all of these sob-stories, we are supposed to feel so sad for the muppets that took it etc. The same old thing, their family comes out and says how great their little angels are and that this was the first time they did drugs etc. Well folks, we don't feel sorry.

Just because it's 'legal' doesn't mean its safe. As I mentioned before in an earlier post, drinking paint thinner is not illegal but why would you do it?! Lets try everything that is not meant to be put in our body because it's not classed as illegal, then see what happens. I might nip down to the petrol station for a quick beverage, I'll take half a gallon of diesel and a chaser of high octane petrol.

Really, I ask it every time, but what is wrong with people? Are they glorified babies, who put everything in their mouths? Do they not understand that getting 'high' in any way shape or form is not normal. That putting this shite in their body will probably not do them much good?!

Ironically, well not really, the coroners found other drugs in all these peoples bodies(apparently)- so their little angels are well....at least drugged up little angels.

So the lesson here, don't take any legal substances that could kill you. If you don't know what the difference between what should go in your body and what shouldn't- go and get educated, because no, drinking a few shots of toilet cleaner is not the way forward.Yes you might have a lemon fresh breath, but I'm guessing this will be very short lived (yes, in every sense of the word).

Don't get your hopes up just yet

Well for those who don't know we've been waiting for a dog for a while now. Well the good news is: 4 dogs have been born and even better, we have a male reserved. The tedious wait is also making me anxious as the pups are only 2 days old right now and I'm sure pretty vunerable to infection etc. I'm not sure how old they have to be to be 'in the clear', whether it's a week or two, or a month. I guess there's no guarantee at any time, but still, 2 days old seems a little early to get really, really excited.

Nonetheless, our breeder has put some piccies up, which you can find yourself on their website under 'valpar' (puppies) or here are some below. I'm not sure whether we have the röd or blå (red or blue!) hane (male) but either way they are pretty similar in terms of markings at least. Check out our potentially new puppy below:

p.s. His name will be Charlie (providing he survives etc for another 8 weeks before he joins us)

30 Seconds to Mars

So tomorrow is a trip to Stockholm to see 30 seconds to mars. I've heard good things, so fingers crossed it'll be a good evening. Here's the general idea of how they sound etc:

Potentially good news

I don't want to speak too soon but we had some news about our little (well monsterously huge) doggy. Turns out the bitch is pregnant (yes, I'm technically correct).

With how many little puppies? Well the easy answer is they don't know. Well the real answer is may be 4. Why such a hard answer to a potentially easy question? I don't really know.

Considering the pups will be born in 2 weeks, you would think a simple X-ray/scan (whatever they do) would be able to show up some clear things. Apparently not.

So why am I not jumping for joy? Well I am a little. But I have to be a realist. We have been waiting a long time for a dog, well why you might ask? The answer is in the breed.

You see, we want a Bernese Mountain dog. For those who don't know what that is, then check out the incredibly shite video about the breed below. The important part is the cheesy comment from the slightly eighties woman about half way through (something about adoption).

Lets just say if 4 are born, are healthy and all the works, that is half of it. We are amongst 2 others that want one (well 'promised' one). These people both want females, wherease we don't really mind. I mean the males can be pretty big, and by big I mean big, I'm not kidding. The bigger boys can be 60 kg, so yes, the same weight as me.

Also, the kennel wants to keep a female. The markings on these other dogs apparently have to be perfect as they want to show them (at dog shows, not randomly), whereas we are 100% not interested in all that pageants for dogs stuff. Ah yes, what I forgot to mention, was the waiting list for this breeder is up to 20 people including us, so to make the top 3 is a result, but the odds are not in our favour.

So fingers crossed the pups are healthy and indeed the right number as to please everyone. Male or female, we don't mind. We also don't mind if the markings are not perfect (for god sake)- it's a dog, not a model.

With slight optimism, we have realisitic pessimism. Our fingers are crossed and we should know within a few weeks, at least how many they have, what sex they are and more importantly, if we are going to get one.

Enjoy this amazing (ly bad) video- please don't laugh too much about the doggy bone thing at the end, weirdos.

p.s. I couldn't embed the video for some reason so just click on the link.

PhD update

Well good news, my first paper (second name author so can count towards my PhD) has been accepted! Very happy, a big thing for me!! The title is:

'Arg143 and Lys192 of the human mast cell chymase mediate the preference for acidic amino acids in the P2´ position of substrates'

You're probably wondering what the hell that means (well I question it too sometimes), but you can read more in a few weeks/months and find out a little more. In the mean time, have a cold one on me.....

p.s. the pic is of a mast cell

What a world!

Just a short update and not terribly interesting, but now I'm officially a member of Stockholm squash club. I've given up on Uppsala because the courts are more fit for ice skating than playing squash.

This now gives me more challenges, as the best in Sweden are based at this club, so will no doubt get my arse kicked at some point.

The title of my post refers to a 'story' I read on Sky news. The headline read 'Dad Branded A Paedophile Over Pic Of Son'. Basically the dad of this young kid took a picture of him whilst riding some little train ride in a shopping centre. A security guard was watching this and approaches the man, phones the police and the dad gets arrested for being a paedo. The police asked the dad to prove the kid was his. How do you normally do that?! Quickly do a DNA test? Give the kid some ID? (well I guess the passport thing exists, but thats another joke!!!).....this is some dilema.

But why are we in a society where we look to accuse everyone of being a kiddy fiddler? Do people not realize the majority of people are not paedos. It's probably due to the prison sentences/protected identity of real paedos, so instead of naming and shaming, they hide under the protection of the law- what the f**k? These people are sick and need to be put down. The knock on effect is simply a severe lack of trust between everyone, each to their own, you have your own back and that is that.

I'm not quite sure why we are looking out for someone with a camera to be a paedo. As most parents would argue- how do you catch the 'first' moments in life, how do you take care of your baby without being accused of frigging molesting it?! This world has officially lost the plot. If a security guard came up to me and accussed me of being a paedo, I think I would kick his arse. I feel sorry for the dad.

To rub salt in his wounds, the police decided to delete the photos!!!

Squash and another first

Well two quick things. Firstly I have my first ever biology paper published! Although it won't count towards my PhD as I'm not first or second author, it is still a proud moment in my life. Another first, another mini triumph. The next paper is the really important one as I'll be second author and it will count toward my PhD, providing it gets accepted (it's being revised now).

More interestingly, I watched the quarters of the Swedish Squash Open a few weeks ago in Linkoping. I went down with a certain Dutchman, yes, El Capitan of the squash team. After seeing some delightful squash, a lot of whinging from a certain French baby, ahem Mr. Gaultier and some sublime relaxed coasting from Mr. Shabana, the night drew to a close. After a quick pick me up, in the shape of a kladdkaka (only 10,000 calories), a 3 hour drive and a inspired squash mind, the night was over. I did take some pictures and a few mins video- some 10 mins, but just to see who was playing etc. I did find two clips that were interesting:

What a load of old crap

There are somethings, which despite being continually rejected as ludicrous ideas/theories by people who know what they are talking about, still come out as complete rubbish.

This is just to mention something, which 99% of the (mainly female) public believe(d) in. No not ghosts, E.T. or other weird paedophilic aliens, but the idea that if you take the MMR jab (well for your kids) that they would in some way develop autism and some bowel disease.

From the moment this became a public thing, suddenly everyone's running around saying their autistic kid had the MMR jab, so are going to sue etc. More importantly, parents were afraid to vaccinate their kids, against potentially life threatening disease. Stupid? Yes. Ill-informed? Yes.

I don't really know how the truth gets lost in all this media crap. Newspapers, TV channels need to make money, so just jazz it up a little. One numpty says something bad about it, with absolutely no leg to stand on, yet it comes to the forefront.

Well the lesson is both twofold. Firstly don't believe (basically) anything anyone tells you- association isn't causation. Secondly, please get the MMR jab, it says lives.

p.s. The Lancet journal completely retracted their so called finding about autism and MMR. This is basically unheard of, as people, especially science journals never admit they are wrong.

p.p.s. what we should be scared of is some hurrendous auto-immune arthritis after the swine flu vaccine. Only kidding......or am I?

My legs are tired

A fine Swedish road......

Check out the skates (the neck thing are ice picks just in case you fall through the ice)

It will make more sense when you read below : )

I didn't want to rub it in his face, but well done Andy Murray, haha. No seriously, kudos to Mr. Federer, it's nice to have watched the career of the best in their field. Almost unquestionably the best tennis player ever, may be the Swedes have an arguement about that one!

Not to bring it back to a real sport, but the Swedish (squash) open is this weekend, where again some of the world's best are going to be. I shall be heading down to Linköping to see how to play real squash.

There was another first for me last weekend. The first was a Torvill and Dean impersonation of the highest quality. Well kind of. You see Sweden is similar to England in one sense- they invent things only they play/do to appear good at something. Take England for example, we have darts, snooker and the most pointless sport ever created, cricket, and bar the later, we are truelly awesome. If you don't know who Phil 'the Power' Taylor is, then you should. Sweden do this to a certain extent, but we will let them off.

For starters, they only have 9 million or so ex-vikings, who have to indulge in sports such as bandy, innebandy, handball etc. The one thing we did on the weekend was similar to ice skating, well a different version infact (yes it will make sense I promise). It's called långfärdsskridskor, or long-journey-ice-skates. There are a number of different styles of this too. We had an army boot/original ski boot setup with a fixed heel. The other type is a cross country ski heel release type thing. The things are then about as long as speed skates (yes another pointless 'sport') but these things are surprisingly stable.

Despite the weirdness of it all, the whole experience was rather pleasant. To be out on a frozen lake, only months before we swam in, out in -10, with 30 cm of untouched snow to gaze across, in the glorious sunshine, was not a bad way to spend a couple of hours. No falls either, but one thing I have to mention, which I thought (again) was hysterical, was a poor young women, on the ice, in a remote part of one of the ice tracks, selling hot dogs from a cart, hahaha. Of course Johanna thought this was normal and the joke was apparently on me (also again).

Well this whole thing set us up nicely for our Sunday run. For those who don't know, we are glutton for punishment and have entered the Stockholm marathon again. This time though we are actually going to do some proper running training. We decided to start as of Sunday it seems: a nice casual jog for 2 hours, covering 20 km in -11, running in the snow, whilst snowing. I was impressed for a couple of reasons. The main one being the furthest we'd actually ran before the marathon, was based on time, for 1 hr and 15 mins. You can do the maths, but lets just say a marathon is going to last around 4 hoursish, and we ran for just over an hour, once. Hmmm, so to run basically a half marathon in these conditions was actually a pride filling moment.

I did do something incredibly retarded afterwards though. I ate food, no problem, but this was to give me energy for what I did next. Yes, I'm a nob I know, but I decided to play squash for 1.5 hrs, with a mixture of drills and conditioned matches. In a couple of words, complete penis comes to mind. So guess how my legs feel now? Well remember my teeth? If you take that pain and put it below my waist, that's pretty much where they are now.

So the fact that I punished my groin (through skating, not anything else) on Saturday, ran 20 km in the morning only to push myself in a concrete box, really has done wonders for my body. The fact that I'm still alive is a bonus. More incredibly, I can still walk. Just awesome. I'm not old, not yet.......

End of January 2010!!!

The one in red in the important one!! The legend that is James Willstrop

Time flies when you're having fun. Yes, as cliche as it sounds, for some reason it feels like time is moving faster than it normally does. It's hard to believe its been 10 years since 2000 for example. We are a unique generation who has indeed lived through the millenium and for me it's unbelievably weird to meet apparent adults, say 18 or 19 who are born in the 90's- what the hell?! Am I really that old? I didn't think so....

One thing that really got on my tits this week was this Australian Open tennis crap. Not only is tennis a shite sport, with overpaid, talentless people making millions, the hype surrounding this latest tournament is beyond me. You see England hasn't had a good tennis player since Fred Perry. Just to let you know, they still don't have one. England has this misconception that when the UK has a reasonable talent we have to steal as much of the identity as we can. The man in question is Andy Murray, who is Scottish, about as English as Greg Rusedski....erm wait there a minute (for those that don't know he is also 'British' despite being born in the french part of Canada- yup go figure). Mr. Murray has found his way to the final of this tournament and everyone knows about it.

However did you know that a true Englishman (well he's from Yorkshire, but we will let him off) has just won what is to be considered a 'grand slam' in squash- one of the biggest squash tournaments of the year. Called the Tournament of Champions, held in Central Station in New York, the name you need to remember is James Willstrop. On his route to glory, he beat 3 recent world no. 1's including the present one (in the final). Does anyone know who he is? Does he get any credit? Well does anyone also know England has 6 of the top 13 best squash players in the world? That is something to celebrate- for one, they are English, not Scottish and two they are all true world class athletes, who put in the hours and get almost zero reward. True sportsmen who deserve some recognition. The English women aren't half bad either, with 3 being in the top 9.

I'm not bitter (much) but it's funny that England has some genuinly talented people who they fail to recognize, then they take what they can. Go Andy Murray......only kidding, I would love to see Roger Federer wipe the floor with you, but hey, who knows what can happen.

Just to give you some more perspective here- our 2nd best male tennis player is a guy called Alex Bogdanovic (English too right?!) and he's ranked 171 in the world. Need I say more.

Well not a whole lot to say besides my little gripe. We've had another 30 cm of snow (at least) and it's still pretty cold. The boarding plans are to go soon, so fresh pow here I come.

Had my teeth butchered, I mean cleaned, today. This was part two of the hygienist visit. In summary English dentists are shit. If you want to know more just ask.

On a better note it looks as though my first ever science paper will be published soon. One minor minor correction then Bob's your Uncle.

Seems a nice time to stop writing. I looked up one of my favourite English bands as they disappeared off the radar for a bit. It's not a bad tune, so for those who don't know (as in everyone), here's InMe, with their newest single off their newest album, called Single of the weak:

A week in Sälen

It was colder but I couldn't take a picture when I was driving!!

Our place on the left

Well it's over. No, not life. Not the winter. Just our snowboarding trip. Now firstly, I've seen all over the news in UK how cold it's been. You have no idea what cold is. It's amazing how a country can come to a complete standstill after a few minus degrees. Every year it happens and every year it's the same. Why does no-one do anything about it? Well, that's the UK, no wait, that's England for you. Scotland keeps working, so what's going wrong? Well a crap infrastructure is to blame, yes and no. If you have what Sweden has, would it be different? I mean winter tyres. I'm guessing everything would be the same. Yes, I slip and slide in my car everyday, but the country doesn't shut down just because we get metres of snow, yes not the 5cm that brings the country to a grinding halt.

The average temperature for the week, similar to the rest of Sweden, has been around -20 to -25. Yes, everything carries on, yes, we were out riding every day, yes we went for evening walks, yes, it was bloody cold. The 'record' day was on Wednesday or Thursday (the temperature difference wasn't that noticeable) but was -35 when we were out on the slopes. So UK, you think -5 is cold? Hmmm....try a frostbiten face and toes after sitting for seconds on a chairlift. No, this isn't the temperature after windchill either, this is the actual temperature. The lowest in Sweden on this day was -41. Seriously, you really can't imagine. So don't bloody moan that the roads are icy and slippery. Come over here and give it a go.

Well the weather report is over. My posts point- the week has been just awesome. Despite my downstairs area packing up its balls and leaving because of the cold, the snow and mountain was superb. I have to say a big thanks to J's dad, who provided the accomodation- a luxury wooden house, with full stone fireplace, large sauna, awesome underfloor heating, all conveniently located right on the slopes. A real special place, cosy and bundles of charm, with 2 full bathrooms with showers and a third toilet downstairs. There were (eventually) 8 of us and 2 dogs, with room a plenty. Not only was the location of our wooden lodge on the mountain, the slopes around us were fantastic too. Designated as 'black' runs, at the far western point of the mountain, not many people ventured (probably through fear of the slope). So we had it pretty much to ourselves, despite not one bed being available in the whole ski resort.

Personally, my riding legs were accustomed pretty quick. As I told Johanna, her riding by the last couple of days was the best I've ever seen. So other people beware, she is getting really good now. Something new for me, although not snowboard related, was cross country skiing. Yes, you heard me right. The thing is, this type of skiing is massively popular over here and in Europe really. When you say to someone I'm going on a ski trip, you have to specify whether it's utförsåkning or längdskidåkning, basically cross country skiing or downhill skiing. This is a weird concept for me (and English people) as we would never ever ever consider cross country skiing as part of a ski trip. Probably because we don't really know anything about it and what we see on Eurosport (usually what we call the biathlon, with the gun) looks painful.

And so this proved to be the case. I am not a skier, I didn't wish to do intense cardio exercise in -25. Nevertheless it happened. Dressed in my snowboarding gear, so looking like a fool in terms of the cross country skiing world, I strapped on these super light, super thin, edgeless skis. It was a mission. You follow these perfect parallel tracks up and down, round and round on a set course, where we were, either 3, 5 or 6 km (something like that, may have been a 4 km too). We chose the 3 km, no surprises there. After being breezed passed by a few local pro's, we got the hang of it, doing our imitation sliding squat things, running up the hills and holding on for dear life on the downhill bits. So what's to say? Well I didn't fall over once. Impressive? Yes!I also ended up looking like a proper hardcore skier- having a snow beard, all white and frozen. What else? Well, we ended up doing the 3 km lap twice, yup, awesome. The day after, well now as well my groin feels like I've been doing squats for 4 months. Anyway, was a nice experience and yes, I probably will punish myself again next time. In the mean time, I'll stick to boarding.

Well I'm bored of writing now. But a week of fun, despite the cold cold temps. Good food, good company, think I'm getting used to the Skaraborgska (Especially after my last post!! If J says 'gött' again, I shall kill her...this is a Swedish joke). Can't wait to ride again......just not sure when it will happen : (

p.s. We saw 2 Bernese mountain dogs there, fit the winter wonderland perfectly, funny to seem them sliding all over the snow.

An interesting last week or so

So the usual Xmas and NY thing has been laid to rest for another year. Another Xmas for me, spent sitting there like a lemon, not understanding much of what the hell is going on. Yes, it appears I am linguistically challenged. For despite understanding (practically) everything around me in Uppsala, at work etc, as soon as I take that first step out of the car in Skövde, it's like I've landed on a new planet.

Much like northern monkeys in England, the regional accents are painfully different. I literally cannot hear the sounds, just a sea of mumbling. The only saving grace is sitting around 5 year old kids, as the elders speak properly and clearly to this forsaken bunch. It's potentially not a problem with my inability to hear these strange sounds, for the accent I have an 'ear' for is the Uppsala/Stockholm area, meaning the 'proper' Swedish. Much like anywhere north of say Oxford in England (minus some areas), the accents become, in a word, retarded. It's not the same anywhere, just a vast mishmash of weird dialects and accents, the one that really gets on my tits is the northern 'the'. Yes folks, even people who 'speak English' cannot even say this little word. I know Swedes struggle with the 'th' sound, it becomes more of a 'da', or at least my significant other, when being lazy, starts sounding like a Jamaican. However, the select northern people then refer to 'the' as 't' in the phonetic saying of the letter, yes, very very special.

Anyways, my lingo problems continue, something I shall further address this year.......

Another non event has been the last 5 days. Like a lot of unfortunate souls, I've had crazy fever, aches and pains, tiredness and worst of all, Niagra Falls out of my arse. It's subsided now, just in time for my boarding holiday to Sälen (yes, seems 'convenient' I know, but trust me, I've been sick as a dog). So no New Year for me, I heard it from my bed, that counts right?!

In other more general boring, lets just write something, type of thing, it's been cold here and snowing for a while now. It's strange when you can't get in your car because the doors are ice-welded shut. The lowest my thermometer reading has been was -18. All I can say is thank f**k for heated seats. The weather topic is immensely boring, I know. But it's beautiful here, really it is. Everything is white, the sun is out and it's crispy crispy noodles, just awesome.

Today is packing day then, getting all my boarding stuff together. I shall take the camera and the video camera, hopefully can manage to convert the video files to something able to put on here. After all, we don't want to miss J boarding right : )

I've lost the writing thought severly now. Just want to say a quick thanks for the Xmas presents from everyone. There's always bizarre things in the news that make me laugh. Such ridiculous things on BBC, that suggested if you take a walk on Xmas day, after all the food, you would burn off calories and feel better- reported in the British Medical Journal or something. No shit. True science that is. Honestly.

I'm not in to all this celebraty crap, but an interesting comment on Sky news about the Brittany Murphy death at 32 (I think): 'A state coroner said Murphy appears to have died from natural causes but other reports have said she suffered a cardiac arrest'. What the hell is a natural cause, especially at 32?! No suspicion there.

Just to let you know, the huge snowman is where we will be staying (well not in the snowman) but at Lindvallen in Sälen.

Well no educational summary, no clever jokes or puns for the start of 2010. Just get on with it, as before you know it, 2011 will be here.