What a world!

Just a short update and not terribly interesting, but now I'm officially a member of Stockholm squash club. I've given up on Uppsala because the courts are more fit for ice skating than playing squash.

This now gives me more challenges, as the best in Sweden are based at this club, so will no doubt get my arse kicked at some point.

The title of my post refers to a 'story' I read on Sky news. The headline read 'Dad Branded A Paedophile Over Pic Of Son'. Basically the dad of this young kid took a picture of him whilst riding some little train ride in a shopping centre. A security guard was watching this and approaches the man, phones the police and the dad gets arrested for being a paedo. The police asked the dad to prove the kid was his. How do you normally do that?! Quickly do a DNA test? Give the kid some ID? (well I guess the passport thing exists, but thats another joke!!!).....this is some dilema.

But why are we in a society where we look to accuse everyone of being a kiddy fiddler? Do people not realize the majority of people are not paedos. It's probably due to the prison sentences/protected identity of real paedos, so instead of naming and shaming, they hide under the protection of the law- what the f**k? These people are sick and need to be put down. The knock on effect is simply a severe lack of trust between everyone, each to their own, you have your own back and that is that.

I'm not quite sure why we are looking out for someone with a camera to be a paedo. As most parents would argue- how do you catch the 'first' moments in life, how do you take care of your baby without being accused of frigging molesting it?! This world has officially lost the plot. If a security guard came up to me and accussed me of being a paedo, I think I would kick his arse. I feel sorry for the dad.

To rub salt in his wounds, the police decided to delete the photos!!!

Squash and another first

Well two quick things. Firstly I have my first ever biology paper published! Although it won't count towards my PhD as I'm not first or second author, it is still a proud moment in my life. Another first, another mini triumph. The next paper is the really important one as I'll be second author and it will count toward my PhD, providing it gets accepted (it's being revised now).

More interestingly, I watched the quarters of the Swedish Squash Open a few weeks ago in Linkoping. I went down with a certain Dutchman, yes, El Capitan of the squash team. After seeing some delightful squash, a lot of whinging from a certain French baby, ahem Mr. Gaultier and some sublime relaxed coasting from Mr. Shabana, the night drew to a close. After a quick pick me up, in the shape of a kladdkaka (only 10,000 calories), a 3 hour drive and a inspired squash mind, the night was over. I did take some pictures and a few mins video- some 10 mins, but just to see who was playing etc. I did find two clips that were interesting:

What a load of old crap

There are somethings, which despite being continually rejected as ludicrous ideas/theories by people who know what they are talking about, still come out as complete rubbish.

This is just to mention something, which 99% of the (mainly female) public believe(d) in. No not ghosts, E.T. or other weird paedophilic aliens, but the idea that if you take the MMR jab (well for your kids) that they would in some way develop autism and some bowel disease.

From the moment this became a public thing, suddenly everyone's running around saying their autistic kid had the MMR jab, so are going to sue etc. More importantly, parents were afraid to vaccinate their kids, against potentially life threatening disease. Stupid? Yes. Ill-informed? Yes.

I don't really know how the truth gets lost in all this media crap. Newspapers, TV channels need to make money, so just jazz it up a little. One numpty says something bad about it, with absolutely no leg to stand on, yet it comes to the forefront.

Well the lesson is both twofold. Firstly don't believe (basically) anything anyone tells you- association isn't causation. Secondly, please get the MMR jab, it says lives.

p.s. The Lancet journal completely retracted their so called finding about autism and MMR. This is basically unheard of, as people, especially science journals never admit they are wrong.

p.p.s. what we should be scared of is some hurrendous auto-immune arthritis after the swine flu vaccine. Only kidding......or am I?

My legs are tired

A fine Swedish road......

Check out the skates (the neck thing are ice picks just in case you fall through the ice)

It will make more sense when you read below : )

I didn't want to rub it in his face, but well done Andy Murray, haha. No seriously, kudos to Mr. Federer, it's nice to have watched the career of the best in their field. Almost unquestionably the best tennis player ever, may be the Swedes have an arguement about that one!

Not to bring it back to a real sport, but the Swedish (squash) open is this weekend, where again some of the world's best are going to be. I shall be heading down to Linköping to see how to play real squash.

There was another first for me last weekend. The first was a Torvill and Dean impersonation of the highest quality. Well kind of. You see Sweden is similar to England in one sense- they invent things only they play/do to appear good at something. Take England for example, we have darts, snooker and the most pointless sport ever created, cricket, and bar the later, we are truelly awesome. If you don't know who Phil 'the Power' Taylor is, then you should. Sweden do this to a certain extent, but we will let them off.

For starters, they only have 9 million or so ex-vikings, who have to indulge in sports such as bandy, innebandy, handball etc. The one thing we did on the weekend was similar to ice skating, well a different version infact (yes it will make sense I promise). It's called långfärdsskridskor, or long-journey-ice-skates. There are a number of different styles of this too. We had an army boot/original ski boot setup with a fixed heel. The other type is a cross country ski heel release type thing. The things are then about as long as speed skates (yes another pointless 'sport') but these things are surprisingly stable.

Despite the weirdness of it all, the whole experience was rather pleasant. To be out on a frozen lake, only months before we swam in, out in -10, with 30 cm of untouched snow to gaze across, in the glorious sunshine, was not a bad way to spend a couple of hours. No falls either, but one thing I have to mention, which I thought (again) was hysterical, was a poor young women, on the ice, in a remote part of one of the ice tracks, selling hot dogs from a cart, hahaha. Of course Johanna thought this was normal and the joke was apparently on me (also again).

Well this whole thing set us up nicely for our Sunday run. For those who don't know, we are glutton for punishment and have entered the Stockholm marathon again. This time though we are actually going to do some proper running training. We decided to start as of Sunday it seems: a nice casual jog for 2 hours, covering 20 km in -11, running in the snow, whilst snowing. I was impressed for a couple of reasons. The main one being the furthest we'd actually ran before the marathon, was based on time, for 1 hr and 15 mins. You can do the maths, but lets just say a marathon is going to last around 4 hoursish, and we ran for just over an hour, once. Hmmm, so to run basically a half marathon in these conditions was actually a pride filling moment.

I did do something incredibly retarded afterwards though. I ate food, no problem, but this was to give me energy for what I did next. Yes, I'm a nob I know, but I decided to play squash for 1.5 hrs, with a mixture of drills and conditioned matches. In a couple of words, complete penis comes to mind. So guess how my legs feel now? Well remember my teeth? If you take that pain and put it below my waist, that's pretty much where they are now.

So the fact that I punished my groin (through skating, not anything else) on Saturday, ran 20 km in the morning only to push myself in a concrete box, really has done wonders for my body. The fact that I'm still alive is a bonus. More incredibly, I can still walk. Just awesome. I'm not old, not yet.......

End of January 2010!!!

The one in red in the important one!! The legend that is James Willstrop

Time flies when you're having fun. Yes, as cliche as it sounds, for some reason it feels like time is moving faster than it normally does. It's hard to believe its been 10 years since 2000 for example. We are a unique generation who has indeed lived through the millenium and for me it's unbelievably weird to meet apparent adults, say 18 or 19 who are born in the 90's- what the hell?! Am I really that old? I didn't think so....

One thing that really got on my tits this week was this Australian Open tennis crap. Not only is tennis a shite sport, with overpaid, talentless people making millions, the hype surrounding this latest tournament is beyond me. You see England hasn't had a good tennis player since Fred Perry. Just to let you know, they still don't have one. England has this misconception that when the UK has a reasonable talent we have to steal as much of the identity as we can. The man in question is Andy Murray, who is Scottish, about as English as Greg Rusedski....erm wait there a minute (for those that don't know he is also 'British' despite being born in the french part of Canada- yup go figure). Mr. Murray has found his way to the final of this tournament and everyone knows about it.

However did you know that a true Englishman (well he's from Yorkshire, but we will let him off) has just won what is to be considered a 'grand slam' in squash- one of the biggest squash tournaments of the year. Called the Tournament of Champions, held in Central Station in New York, the name you need to remember is James Willstrop. On his route to glory, he beat 3 recent world no. 1's including the present one (in the final). Does anyone know who he is? Does he get any credit? Well does anyone also know England has 6 of the top 13 best squash players in the world? That is something to celebrate- for one, they are English, not Scottish and two they are all true world class athletes, who put in the hours and get almost zero reward. True sportsmen who deserve some recognition. The English women aren't half bad either, with 3 being in the top 9.

I'm not bitter (much) but it's funny that England has some genuinly talented people who they fail to recognize, then they take what they can. Go Andy Murray......only kidding, I would love to see Roger Federer wipe the floor with you, but hey, who knows what can happen.

Just to give you some more perspective here- our 2nd best male tennis player is a guy called Alex Bogdanovic (English too right?!) and he's ranked 171 in the world. Need I say more.

Well not a whole lot to say besides my little gripe. We've had another 30 cm of snow (at least) and it's still pretty cold. The boarding plans are to go soon, so fresh pow here I come.

Had my teeth butchered, I mean cleaned, today. This was part two of the hygienist visit. In summary English dentists are shit. If you want to know more just ask.

On a better note it looks as though my first ever science paper will be published soon. One minor minor correction then Bob's your Uncle.

Seems a nice time to stop writing. I looked up one of my favourite English bands as they disappeared off the radar for a bit. It's not a bad tune, so for those who don't know (as in everyone), here's InMe, with their newest single off their newest album, called Single of the weak:

A week in Sälen

It was colder but I couldn't take a picture when I was driving!!

Our place on the left

Well it's over. No, not life. Not the winter. Just our snowboarding trip. Now firstly, I've seen all over the news in UK how cold it's been. You have no idea what cold is. It's amazing how a country can come to a complete standstill after a few minus degrees. Every year it happens and every year it's the same. Why does no-one do anything about it? Well, that's the UK, no wait, that's England for you. Scotland keeps working, so what's going wrong? Well a crap infrastructure is to blame, yes and no. If you have what Sweden has, would it be different? I mean winter tyres. I'm guessing everything would be the same. Yes, I slip and slide in my car everyday, but the country doesn't shut down just because we get metres of snow, yes not the 5cm that brings the country to a grinding halt.

The average temperature for the week, similar to the rest of Sweden, has been around -20 to -25. Yes, everything carries on, yes, we were out riding every day, yes we went for evening walks, yes, it was bloody cold. The 'record' day was on Wednesday or Thursday (the temperature difference wasn't that noticeable) but was -35 when we were out on the slopes. So UK, you think -5 is cold? Hmmm....try a frostbiten face and toes after sitting for seconds on a chairlift. No, this isn't the temperature after windchill either, this is the actual temperature. The lowest in Sweden on this day was -41. Seriously, you really can't imagine. So don't bloody moan that the roads are icy and slippery. Come over here and give it a go.

Well the weather report is over. My posts point- the week has been just awesome. Despite my downstairs area packing up its balls and leaving because of the cold, the snow and mountain was superb. I have to say a big thanks to J's dad, who provided the accomodation- a luxury wooden house, with full stone fireplace, large sauna, awesome underfloor heating, all conveniently located right on the slopes. A real special place, cosy and bundles of charm, with 2 full bathrooms with showers and a third toilet downstairs. There were (eventually) 8 of us and 2 dogs, with room a plenty. Not only was the location of our wooden lodge on the mountain, the slopes around us were fantastic too. Designated as 'black' runs, at the far western point of the mountain, not many people ventured (probably through fear of the slope). So we had it pretty much to ourselves, despite not one bed being available in the whole ski resort.

Personally, my riding legs were accustomed pretty quick. As I told Johanna, her riding by the last couple of days was the best I've ever seen. So other people beware, she is getting really good now. Something new for me, although not snowboard related, was cross country skiing. Yes, you heard me right. The thing is, this type of skiing is massively popular over here and in Europe really. When you say to someone I'm going on a ski trip, you have to specify whether it's utförsåkning or längdskidåkning, basically cross country skiing or downhill skiing. This is a weird concept for me (and English people) as we would never ever ever consider cross country skiing as part of a ski trip. Probably because we don't really know anything about it and what we see on Eurosport (usually what we call the biathlon, with the gun) looks painful.

And so this proved to be the case. I am not a skier, I didn't wish to do intense cardio exercise in -25. Nevertheless it happened. Dressed in my snowboarding gear, so looking like a fool in terms of the cross country skiing world, I strapped on these super light, super thin, edgeless skis. It was a mission. You follow these perfect parallel tracks up and down, round and round on a set course, where we were, either 3, 5 or 6 km (something like that, may have been a 4 km too). We chose the 3 km, no surprises there. After being breezed passed by a few local pro's, we got the hang of it, doing our imitation sliding squat things, running up the hills and holding on for dear life on the downhill bits. So what's to say? Well I didn't fall over once. Impressive? Yes!I also ended up looking like a proper hardcore skier- having a snow beard, all white and frozen. What else? Well, we ended up doing the 3 km lap twice, yup, awesome. The day after, well now as well my groin feels like I've been doing squats for 4 months. Anyway, was a nice experience and yes, I probably will punish myself again next time. In the mean time, I'll stick to boarding.

Well I'm bored of writing now. But a week of fun, despite the cold cold temps. Good food, good company, think I'm getting used to the Skaraborgska (Especially after my last post!! If J says 'gött' again, I shall kill her...this is a Swedish joke). Can't wait to ride again......just not sure when it will happen : (

p.s. We saw 2 Bernese mountain dogs there, fit the winter wonderland perfectly, funny to seem them sliding all over the snow.

An interesting last week or so

So the usual Xmas and NY thing has been laid to rest for another year. Another Xmas for me, spent sitting there like a lemon, not understanding much of what the hell is going on. Yes, it appears I am linguistically challenged. For despite understanding (practically) everything around me in Uppsala, at work etc, as soon as I take that first step out of the car in Skövde, it's like I've landed on a new planet.

Much like northern monkeys in England, the regional accents are painfully different. I literally cannot hear the sounds, just a sea of mumbling. The only saving grace is sitting around 5 year old kids, as the elders speak properly and clearly to this forsaken bunch. It's potentially not a problem with my inability to hear these strange sounds, for the accent I have an 'ear' for is the Uppsala/Stockholm area, meaning the 'proper' Swedish. Much like anywhere north of say Oxford in England (minus some areas), the accents become, in a word, retarded. It's not the same anywhere, just a vast mishmash of weird dialects and accents, the one that really gets on my tits is the northern 'the'. Yes folks, even people who 'speak English' cannot even say this little word. I know Swedes struggle with the 'th' sound, it becomes more of a 'da', or at least my significant other, when being lazy, starts sounding like a Jamaican. However, the select northern people then refer to 'the' as 't' in the phonetic saying of the letter, yes, very very special.

Anyways, my lingo problems continue, something I shall further address this year.......

Another non event has been the last 5 days. Like a lot of unfortunate souls, I've had crazy fever, aches and pains, tiredness and worst of all, Niagra Falls out of my arse. It's subsided now, just in time for my boarding holiday to Sälen (yes, seems 'convenient' I know, but trust me, I've been sick as a dog). So no New Year for me, I heard it from my bed, that counts right?!

In other more general boring, lets just write something, type of thing, it's been cold here and snowing for a while now. It's strange when you can't get in your car because the doors are ice-welded shut. The lowest my thermometer reading has been was -18. All I can say is thank f**k for heated seats. The weather topic is immensely boring, I know. But it's beautiful here, really it is. Everything is white, the sun is out and it's crispy crispy noodles, just awesome.

Today is packing day then, getting all my boarding stuff together. I shall take the camera and the video camera, hopefully can manage to convert the video files to something able to put on here. After all, we don't want to miss J boarding right : )

I've lost the writing thought severly now. Just want to say a quick thanks for the Xmas presents from everyone. There's always bizarre things in the news that make me laugh. Such ridiculous things on BBC, that suggested if you take a walk on Xmas day, after all the food, you would burn off calories and feel better- reported in the British Medical Journal or something. No shit. True science that is. Honestly.

I'm not in to all this celebraty crap, but an interesting comment on Sky news about the Brittany Murphy death at 32 (I think): 'A state coroner said Murphy appears to have died from natural causes but other reports have said she suffered a cardiac arrest'. What the hell is a natural cause, especially at 32?! No suspicion there.

Just to let you know, the huge snowman is where we will be staying (well not in the snowman) but at Lindvallen in Sälen.

Well no educational summary, no clever jokes or puns for the start of 2010. Just get on with it, as before you know it, 2011 will be here.