A mini random update

Nothing in particular, we have a 5 day weekend (you have to love the Swedes) so time to write something.

I should mention Johanna ran the Stockholm marathon last weekend in another personal best of 4hrs and 4mins. This was another 20 minute improvement over last year, so a congrats is in order. My entry was lost in the post......shame that. The whole thing was pretty motivating, so might enter next year. My problem is well, running sucks. Especially as the Stockholm marathon is 'early' in the year meaning you have to train during the warm Swedish winter......that's my problem. However I have managed to pull my finger out of my butthole and do some running already. Take yesterday for example, I ran almost 20 km in 25 degree heat, on my todd and was great.....until I stopped.

Now I can't walk, not because my chicken legs didn't hold up, but I have a sharp pain in my right foot, meaning something isn't right! If it wasn't for all these setbacks I would unquestionably put all my effort into running and just get on with it. But in two words, I can't. I managed to run a 10km event last week, was a crap course and too many people so my halfway split was 23 mins something, which is basically pants. As I put the afterburners on, I ran the second half in 20 something mins and ended up with 43.42, so not too bad. My target is under 40, so I know I can do a second half split of around 20mins, meaning providing my body works it's more than achievable, and for me, that would be a great target.

I will (hopefully, barring injury) enter the Stockholm half marathon in September, where last year I ran 1hr 4omins with jack-all training (as in no running at all, I kid you not), BUT my body really did fall apart because it couldn't handle it, I suffered bad ITBS and my recovery was still affecting me up to only a couple of months ago. That seems fixed now, but other things pop up. Ok, so I sound like I'm moaning about everything and I know almost everyone is never 100%, but it's always a mental blow.

In summary, I suck, Johanna did well.

Completely unrelated, good result for England the other day, haha. The excuse? 'The players were tired'.....I'd be tired if I got paid 100k a week TO TRAIN!! What are these clowns on?! Too tired?! It is hard to do a mixture of mostly walking, light jogging and some running for 90 mins. Ha, what a joke!!

I watched the BBC thing online about the 4 year old girl who had an art exhibition with 9 pieces, selling up to 9 grand a piece or something like that. I love the mothers comments and from others. 'She's special in that she knows exactly what she is doing!!''Her paintings are balanced' 'She's already developed a style that is hers''It's abstract expressionism...but she's also a surrealist'...........hahahaha. What the f**k?!? You give me a four year old and some paint, are they going to splatter the crap out of the paper or neatly draw lovely straight lines, add delicate shadows etc....what the hell?! How stupid are these art people?! My 1 year old dog could do the same, just dip his paws in paint and away we go- now 'I have a dog who's a surrealist, very abstract art'......yes, he walked over some paper, pissed and shit on it to add 'texture' and now it will only cost you 10 grand to have it fester on your wall.

Well let's talk about fun stuff like the weather....it's hot. End of that topic. Next? As a well timed reward for Johanna's marathon antics, she has gone to Lisbon with her mum until today (well tonight) actually. Nope, I didn't get an invite, haha. I did wish them rain, which was probably mean, so I took it back. But I'm pretty sure its been better here anyway (since last Thursday), so am not jealous, especially as they are closer to those Spanish cucumbers (yes I know they actually think it was from beansprouts in Germany, but my joke still stands!)!!

I watched the Hangover II last week. If you haven't seen it (I actually went to the cinema, how good is that?!), basically it's exactly the same as the first, which is no bad thing in my opinion. So don't expect the unexpected, it really is incredibly similar, but if it works, why fix it?

Anything else? Well no, not really. My little reptiles have been making a porno, just humping a lot, so will be expecting eggs in a few weeks. If you are interesting in crested geckos, let me know : ) They have advantages over the dog, for example their shit doesn't stink, you don't need a dustbin bag to pick it up, they don't lick their bits then try to lick your face, they don't need walking, they are quiet in the day and they don't role around in everything when they get wet.

Not that I don't love our little hormonal, hairy bear of a dog........

Good one

When will this World learn?! Harold Camping is an idiot! I had to get that off my chest (just saw a video saying that he got the date of the end of the World wrong, funny that.......)!

Definition of irony

In England, trying to ruin the royal wedding, good one you hypocritical idiot:

Inme

First I should mention a couple of things. Our dog has decided he is from the near future, like a space-dog, or may be working for a satellite provider:

He apparantly has some 'hotspots' where his skin is just a bit manky basically, due to the heat (well it isn't exactly tropical here, but it's warming up). There are two very small patches just below the brown bit on his face which you cant quite see, that are now shaved and that we must use some topical shampoo on there for a bit, plus leave the lovely accessory on for 10 days. The downside to this, apart from looking like a retard, is that every time he walks (or tries more like) through a door opening etc, he just slams into it, causing him to moonwalk backwards (yes, quite funny), but it makes notches and dings in the collar, so it becomes razor sharp. This = lots of pain for us and the walls. It's a good job we have a new kitchen then isn't it............

That was the second thing then. A brand spanking new kitchen. Despite no-one reading this, especially the two people in question, but I must say another thanks to Johanna's dad and brother, who both managed to take out the old kitchen and put in everything in basically less than 2 days. All we had to do in return was get them drunk (well not that bad, but somewhere close). It's almost done, just the tiling left and electricity (for the oven, microwave and lights) to be hooked up. It looks pukka though, new floor, new everything actually. Thanks again, the Andersson family.

On a way more old-man related note, I played golf on the weekend (yes while they were slaving away putting the new kitchen in- well actually they were already done, so don't feel too bad for them, haha). Was so sweet, 18 degrees and not a cloud in the sky, the golf part wasn't that bad either....well minus me finding the water off the first tee, the first shot, topped nicely 20 metres straight into the juice.

What I wanted to post about, which I stumbled across today was the band Inme again. May be not to everyone's taste, but I really think these guys are so friggin underated, it's just unfair. They write some of (if not the best) lyrics probably anywhere, ever. They play their music quite brilliantly and are also English, so should be considered some decent 'home-grown' talent, but still nothing. I've just ordered their 'greatest-hits' cd called 'Phoenix':

I think that was all I wanted to mention. Easter is soon here, that doesn't mean much actually (to me of course), something about some dude who came back from the dead. Sounds a bit like a zombie type situation, so basically this weekend is a zombie celebration, providing I have my facts straight (and I'm pretty sure I am spot on about this- have you not seen 'Pet Sematary'?).

I forgot one last thing. Remember Swedes take their coffee very seriously. They are one of the biggest consumers of coffee in the World and really take offence if you bad-mouth or underestimate their need for it (I kid you not, you really will piss a Swede off if they have the coffee cravings). Well anyway, Johanna, to go along with her new kitchen, has bought the dogs bollocks coffee machine at some extortionate price. I had a cup from it tonight, and yes it was the best cup of coffee ever*

*Applicable only if Johanna asks me how good the coffee was. The 5 quid jobby from the local pawn shop IN NO WAY, SHAPE OR FORM is as good........

We're expanding

No, not just the waistline. May I present one of the two newest additions to the family. Meet Tara (and her boyfriend Terje). They are 10 months old and are just the cutest things (well minus the dog, may be Johanna....).

This picture is not great because it's in the container used to carry them. They are called 'ögonfrans geckor' or 'eyelash geckos' in Swedish and 'crested geckos' in English as you just can make out the small spines over their eyes down their back.

An interesting thing about these guys is that they were thought to be extinct in the wild even up to 1994. If you fancy trying to find them you'll have to take a short trip to the other side of Australia, to a small country called New Calendonia. Johanna has 'allowed' me to have them as they can survive just on fruit too.....so healthier than most people aswell....

One very clever dog

Something a little strange happened the other day. I'm not very good at telling stories but I'll do my best here. It started (well ended) with a couple of missed calls and a text from my dad saying 'sorry I missed your call....'

Well we must go back a little (I'll skip some details) first. It started after a stop off at Ikea after a strenuous day on the slopes. On a Sunday they shut (well the food part at least) at 5.00pm, so we managed to sneak in at 4.45pm. We left the dog in the car, which we locked as usual. We finished eating pretty quick and were done by 5.10pm. Nothing weird right?

Well after getting in (some time after), Johanna unpacks the board bags etc and finds my phone. It says 2 missed calls and a text. Ok, I have a look, the message starts 'sorry I missed your call'. Hmmm, I hadn't had my phone on me all day, just in the car, so a little weird. I check the time of the call and it says 4.55pm. Now It's not adding up right. My phone was in the car at that time. The only thing remotely near it was the dog.

Well a logical thought could be if you press the green 'phone' button on my nokia, it gives you a list of people who you recently rang. Somehow the dog must have layed on it, then it rang. Could be reasonable, we all dial numbers when we forget to lock the phone in our pockets, right? But that's just it. It was locked when we checked it. To make it even more weird, I haven't rang my Dad for probably a year or something, meaning his name was not on the green button shortcut list to numbers I've recently dialled. Even more weirdly, if the dog has done this, he has somehow unlocked the phone, pressed multiple buttons, scrolled down to 'd' and hit the green dial button. Then after not leaving a voice message, has managed to lock the phone again.

The car was locked, the timing was exact as we were definitely in Ikea eating meatballs at that time. There is no way I dialled the number, so what the hell is going on here?! Well dogs are mans best friend right?! Well may be they are crafty little buggers too......

Happy Birthday to You

Well our furry son is officially 1 year old today. So a big Happy Birthday to the hormonal little bugger. Still as cute as ever, but not quite as small and soft as back in the day: