A test

We have just bought a video camera, a Samsung HMX-Q10, so tried it out. Have got some neat editing software too, so will do my best Spielberg impression too. Just a test though (not bad in flat light)....

Not surprising

It doesn't matter what country you're in, religion is full of lies, deceit and abuse. How many more examples do we need of this before people realize it's all tripe. Now in the limelight is the Catholic faith in the Netherlands. The study asked some 34,000 people of whom up to 20,000 abuse cases have been identified in less than a 40 year period. Quite staggering.

I just can't see any benefit of these brain-washing propaganda 'faiths'. How about some independent thought and may be the World would be an amazing place.....

No biggy

There is finally snow on the ground (may be there is more in England already?) and temps are looking low and steady. Hopefully the winter will stay now.

I have started my half year (as in half a year left) marathon training. Yes, third time lucky or something like that. Slow and steady to start, well kind of. I'm following a 3.5hr plan, the pace is quite quite slow, but when you run that long you soon understand why it 'appears' that way. It's bloody tough either way, but my main goal is to finish it again 'properly', meaning at least be fit enough so my body doesn't fall apart. Considering I'm not starting anywhere close to 100% it's going to be a challenge- still really struggling with my lower back or glutes are the real problem actually. Anyway, enough of that. Johanna no doubt will kick my ass (as usual). Would be good to take her this time though : )

I'm sure there was something remotely interesting that I was going to talk about, or apparently not. Was just funny really to see Man U get knocked out of the champions league. Quite amazing the lack of talent that is paid so much money. I promise I won't rant about football......

Just thinking out loud, but finally managed to get around to watch The A-team (film). Thought it was going to suck, as the series is just a classic. Apparently these 'rangers' in the original series never actually kill anyone, never shoot or injure, so it's funny these four are so badass. However, the film is actually really good. Nice twist and all the actors do a good job of imitating their originals.

Considering we are going to Florida next year and will venture to the Harry Potter part of Universals Island of Adventure, which wasn't built the last time I was there, we have started to watch the films. Yes, the books are better......all that crap, but as I can't read, the films will have to do. What I am trying to find out is why this franchise is worth so much and is so popular. Wow the story is totally unoriginal, wow, where do I start. We've watched the first two films up until now and not only is the acting just god awful, the story is full of redundancy and so many loopholes that make no sense. Yes it's a kids book, but what the hell, give the kids some credit, they aren't all morons. I'm hoping the films (well the whole story) will get better, but I won't hold my breath that's for sure. It's just a rip off of classic kids stuff, pieced together in some messed up jumble then sold to us through 3 annoying, overacting kids. My left nut has more talent than these 'wizards'. Well, anyway, I'll stick with my Lord of the Rings, yes, potentially slow starting (I have read the book(s)) but a full and original story, great character development and clear to see the old good vs evil, clear and precise, no messing around hiding behind strange plots and pointless outcomes.

Xmas is round the corner, another year gone like that. I heard I am getting a nephew, I told Johanna and bet all my money they will name it either Luke or Joshua. Now if you are reading this, don't you dare change it to the other popular names; no Mohammads (plus variants), Oliver, Harry, Jacob or Thomas just to spite me. You know I'm right......

Feeding time at the zoo so better get those munchy crickets out.

Good news

Following the bad news, I'm happy to report good news. Yes it's along the same lines as before, but as I had a sizable terrarium just sitting there, I needed to fill it.

Well it didn't take long, as my reptile people have some amazing animals, so I now have Marwin, another Rhacodactylus species (like the two I have), R. Chahoua or Mossy gecko (or Mossy prehensile-tailed gecko (meaning it can curl it's tail up) or Bavay's gecko (who discovered it)).

He is a very stunning thing, little bit skittish but will handle him once a week and see if he calms down a bit. Amazing colours, the pictures below dont really do it justice, but didnt want bright light as he was already stressed from the trip.

Might be able to find a female in the future to make little ones, but these are a pretty rare species and are fairly tough to breed, but we shall see. In the States and UK they are worth a lot, but got him for a relative bargain.

Some good news after some sad, yes you might think they are just lizards, boring boring. But to have something that has been 'made' in your hands, then to see it pass is not easy to take, whether it be a lizard, a dog, or whatever. These are fascinating little creatures, come from one island in the World and once again I have another piece of amazing natural history to ponder over.

Meet Marwin:

Stuck on the glass....


He really has bark type colours, just perfect camouflage

Sad news

My little guys have passed away. They were still for 2 days, which I thought was normal, kind of defensive behaviour. I was worried about them not eating so decided to take them out and put them in a smaller space to make sure they were feeding. But they didn't move as I picked them up and unfortunately have died.

I'm pretty sad and don't know what was wrong really, but it was obviously not meant to be. RIP little ones.

Jeremy Clarkson

As always, people need to get a life. If you take his comments literally you are a fool. For one, watch the clip of him being interviewed, he's not exactly doing his best Hitler impression is he. It's a way of saying the pointless strikes shouldn't happen, in a descriptive joke.

Seriously, what is wrong with people?! These public strikes are truelly pointless, what are you going to achieve? Well you piss a lot of hard-working (cliche) tax payers off, as they will feel the brunt of your nonsense, plus these affected people will then have even less faith in the public sector. You truelly are stupid if you think you'll do any good.

If Jeremey Clarkson was in power, at least things would be frank and on the table, no hidding, no beating around the bush. For those who think they are hard done by, be thankful you have a job. There are people far worse off than you, so suck it up and stop complaining about people who disagree with you.

Check this out

Just had to mention a couple more Sports personality of the year people who are not even close, besides double World squash champion and World number 1, Nick Matthew.

What about 4 time Ironman winner Chrissie Wellington? There probably aren't many on this planet fitter than her. Or may be Helen Jenkins could give her a run for her money (another double World triathlon champion).

Or another World champion, Danny Hart. The video commentary is as good as the video itself!

No, let's stick with Andy Murray!!!! Hahahahahahahaha

Sports personality of the year

What a joke.

Nick Matthew......need I say more.

Home sweet home

So they have arrived.....

The unamed, unsexed little things. One is very red/brown colour (quite different) and the other looks like his dad (a greeny/brown), which you can't see so easily in the pics I've taken. The coin is a 1 krona coin, which is about the size of a 10p piece. They are so light and calm right now, which is a bit strange too. Hopefully will handle them once a week or so, so that they become (even more) tame.

Cool little things (now 1 week old):

I'm a Grandad

Two crested gecko hatchlings cracked open their little eggs today : )

No pictures yet, but saw them today and super small and 'cute', even ask Johanna. Amazing little things so will be getting their housing all sorted them welcome them home, quite weird to have mum, dad and two kiddies....

Not entirely sure when you can sex the little ones, but I will keep them all together, before, quite like a real family, they start to fight...well that's not a certainty either to be fair, but it's a relatively common thing for multiple males to fight, usually only in the presence of a female though, so fingers crossed they will get along : )

Lots to talk about

But I don't have so much time and what not to write about it now.

I did want to say something about Fabio Capello's statement about the upcoming Sweden friendly. He obviously has his geography correct after:

"It is a little country with a small population but it's always difficult to beat Sweden"

Yes, Sweden is a tiny country, just the third biggest in Western Europe, or 6th if you include Russia, Kazakhstan (classed as an in-between Asia/Europe country) and Ukraine.......so Fabio is pretty spot on in his judgement.......

Well I won't be watching the match, simply because Mr. Capello chooses to play the most boring football in the World. Yes, they beat Spain, but come on, watching paint dry was more interesting (and that's an insult to the paint).

Sweden have been playing some attacking football more recently, 'even' without a certain nobhead Zlatan, so hopefully can do more than stick 11 men behind the ball and wait for the final whistle.

Bandit Rock Awards 2012

Not to be outdone by Johanna travelling to England early next year to drink tea and oh yeah, watch 3 doors down, I have joined that club too. Well not the England part, but the 3 doors down bit.

You see I have tickets to the Bandit rock awards 2012 in February, where they will be playing along with Seether. I'm not so jealous now, although not a full concert, they will play for 75 minutes. Happy days.

Ironic

I just had to comment about something I read this morning about all these protests and angry opinions about the possibility of a new dog testing (well breeding facility for testing) centre being built in the UK, basically to lower the costs instead of importing dogs from other countries.

The irony here is that everyone is saying how evil these researchers are etc, heard it all before. The funny thing is that people still think it's the old cliche, monkey with lipstick on type thing. It is illegal to test cosmetic products in the UK on animals for one. Secondly 100% of medical treatments would not be here today if they wouldn't have used animals. So anyone that has ever needed any type of medication (that will be 100% of everyone), means they have contributed to this animal testing.

Without animal testing, from mice (who's life value seems to be less than say a rabbit etc) to dogs and horses, we would not have anything on this planet and would probably not live through childbirth, not through a common viral cold, a sore throat, you name it, we would be suffering.

My field of interest is allergy related. Rodents are not naturally allergic, so why use these animals as human models? Dogs are the closest responders (their morphology etc is more similar) to allergy related diseases as humans. Over 30% of people Worldwide suffer from allergy-related problems, from atopic dermatitis (eczema) to asthma and would have got their life-depending treatments from products tested on dogs.

If you want to really support the cause, stop taking any medication, from vitamins to headache pills, don't wear makeup, use deodorant or brush your teeth. Die young, in pain and put the animal cause first.

Yeah I thought not. Don't judge before you understand the meaning of what you are judging. 'Not a clue' would be the understatement of the century.

A classic

Johanna just came out with a great line. Doesn't matter about the setting, but I just said to her 'did you hear that?'

The reply?

'I couldn't hear anything because it smells so bad'. Well I might have let rip some gases after being forced to eat a rank viennetta, but apparently they block sound.....might have discovered something new there : )

Meet Svea

The new addition to the family, my 5/6 month old female viper gecko Svea.

Babies

That's right, I'm going to have some babies. Crested gecko babies : )

It's not a done deal as the condition of the eggs is unknown, but potentially 4 little new guys will be on there way in less than a month and closer to 2 months, respectively (2 clutches of 2 eggs).

Providing they survive and hatch they will look something like this:


The scale is not shown but the eggs reach around 2 cm, so they are tiny really.

On a related note, I am getting a new gecko to add to the collection. I think it's actually the smallest member of the gecko species, called a viper gecko (based on its tail looking like a viper's head). It grows to a meager 8 cm but stunning markings and apparently docile like Oskar (my leopard gecko). No name yet, but will take a picture when I get him/her. In the meantime here's what they look like:

On a completely pain related note, Johanna has entered myself (and of course herself) in the Stockholm marathon next June. If you fancy it, still spaces left, no sponsorship etc needed. Just a thought......a very uncomfortable, muscle stretching thought......

Another reason why England is a complete shithole

The local sheep looking for something to steal

Was I supposed to **** shithole? Well sorry but it is. Seeing the recent events in London makes me pretty mad. I don't know why really as I don't care too much, that is except for the many thousands of innocent people once again effected by mindless chav violence.

Whether the original 'peaceful protest' was just, this bunch of inbred morrons deserve everything that's coming to them. I would just love to see their chav houses and (stolen) possessions be burned down and may be a few beatings along the way.

It's funny how these un-educated kids think they are so special. When asked why they are looting? Well 'it's the government, innit?' What the f**k?! Quite comically, apparently these little chav f*****s are destroying 'the riches' possessions. Well my little ingrate fools, they are the only reason why your shitty little areas actually exist. I would hardly call a corner shop owner 'a millionaire'. So basically destroying everything you have (if there is no McDonalds, how will you feed your 7 kids?) and blaming who?! Well for one, GO BACK TO SCHOOL. Yes folks, if your answer is 'it's the governments fault' followed by 'yeah those conservatives or whoevers in charge', it probably means you don't grasp simple concepts, such as if you want money, you need a job (yes, places which you are burning down), which generally means you must have a brain (and use it), normally acquired through school.

Considering almost everyone is a chav thug under the age of 18, this once again (similar to Northern Ireland) is nothing more than meaningless violence. My suggestion is to to stop giving all the tax money to Pakistan, collect some debt and bring the armed forces back to the UK and start making this a safe place to live again. Sod handouts, the UK needs handouts.

Start building some prisons, start taking away the TV's, gyms, computers and luxury items and make a prison a place you don't want to go. I was shocked and appauled by the video (I guess everyone has seen) of the injured kid (whether they were an innocent bystander or not will change my thoughts no doubt) who was then robbed from what looked liked a vague attempt at compassion. What little scumbags, whose parents no doubt are no-where to be seen.

This also highlights a problem with the hole (formely known as England), that you think multi-culturalism is a problem, well think none of that should have happened before you sort out the local filth first. I said it before and will say it again, the only thing to do is to leave the scum infested hole and move somewhere else. It is too far gone I'm afraid.

I'm sorry but...

The untimely death of Amy Winehouse couldn't have been more insignificant in my eyes. A drug ridden life, a terrible performer (her job) and an even worse role model for impressionable teens. As I said the last time around, you really do reap what you sow.

After many comments along the lines of 'good riddance' followed by 'oh such a talent' etc, one comment I read was 'this was someone's daughter'. Well yes. If this excuse holds true, just because you have a human life doesn't mean you can simply abuse it and not pay the price.

Anders Breivik is someone's son, but there isn't going to be much sympathy flying around for this troubled soul.

After reading just now about the '5 dead in Texas roller-skating shooting', it really does make your wonder what the hell is going on in this World.

The Olso thing is just bizarrely tragic. Such a coward to kill innocent teenagers and so many.

What do you do with him now? Do you kill him (because 'that's what he deserves?'), well that isn't really a legal answer, you aren't in a country with a death penalty setup. Do you institionalize him and give him excessive therapy in the hope he can be released in to society? Why would you do that? Why would you want that? Ask a few affected by this scumbag and see if they think thats what should happen.

Admittedly, the only answer is not a good one. You should prevent it. But there is no justice system in the World that can deal with this in a good way. The deceased have no choice, the families affected by this is just, well, unimaginable.

I don't know how it gets to this, something somewhere is going wrong. It is definitely not normal for people to want to kill, to think it's 'necessary'. Is he sick in the head? He's planned this (may be by himself) and carried it out with clear intent, so that takes a 'smart' man. The act is just indescribable though- you 'must' be a headcase to do this. For your thoughts to be so far from the norm is a head issue, but still now what?

Adolf Hitler was a brave (a runner in WWI, goes without saying), incredibly intelligent man, but what about the demons in his head?! Why do we spawn these people? I don't have a good answer.

I have my own opinions, but to be apart of this society (well the 'western' part) you don't have to agree with people, you just know it's wrong to kill those who might not think the best car in the World is a Renault Clio, or whatever. The line is drawn and you don't cross it, but the limits don't apply to what feels like an increasing number.

Whatever the real motives behind this, there is no justification for killing innocent (again, this is a problem because who and what is 'innocent') defenseless kids.

For now, Amy Winehouse had a choice, these kids definitely did not. My sympathies lie with one and absolutely not with the other.

Carlos Tevez

Scarily this guys wages is around 200 grand a week!!! He earns more in half a day than I do in year. Quite staggering. How on Earth do they come up with that amount of money. Can you imagine at the job interview when discussing the salary? 'So how much do you think we should pay you?' '200 grand....a week is about right'. 'So you want just over 10 million a year? Sounds good to me'.....what the f**k?!

Surprise bloody surprise

Well I have to moan a little. Two things caught my eye. The first was named and shamed Alexandr Kolobnev, who has been kicked off the Tour de France for taking a diuretic with the ability to mask other drugs he's taken. Of course he is innocent, like everyone else.....

Remember the name Thomas Condliff. This overweight (22 stone) 62 year old has diabetes (no shit) and has been told he will die within a year if he doesn't get gastric-bypass surgery, which he doesn't qualify for as he's not obese enough. Well there can't possibly be any other options can there??

Well Mr. Lazy bastard, no sympathy from me. Everything we do is a choice. You don't wake up at 62 and suddenly you realize your penis has disappeared, beneath the layers of fat protruding from your waist. Come on.

How about this for a quick tip. If you eat more than you burn off you will get fat.

If you get fat and continue, you will become American.......I mean obese. If you become obese you will probably have heart problems and everything associated with that, yes including type 2 diabetes. In most other countries the doctors would say stop eating like a pig and go for a walk. In England however they say, you need to eat more to qualify for life-threatening surgery that the tax-payer will cover because you are such a lazy bastard. On top of that have a complimentary burger to try out that new stomach.

Ok, I made that last bit up. The point is, what the hell is wrong with this mentality that if you abuse your body for many years, you can just opt out when you want. If you were that bothered about living, wouldn't you want to get off your arse and do something about it, knowing otherwise you will die. I mean what more does it take. OR you just moan and go to court (who's paying for it as it's a civil case?) that you aren't fat enough. I mean what is your defense? 'I'm too lazy to change my life because I eat shit and want the easy way out'. Knowing the judges, they would probably grant him some sympathy verdict and either do two things: the first, to give him the surgery even though he's technically not eligable or secondly give him free snacks and let him binge for a few months to get him up to the required weight?!

Im sure it was some Jesus related thing about reaping what you sow. Couldn't be more true here (especially as this guy has clearly had too many harvests under his belt).

Let's be Saudi Arabia's friend

Still the only place in the World that bans females from driving. Guess their car insurance is dirt cheap as they don't have any accidents now the danger is off the road.....

I haven't been in England for a number of years, but I guess the female only insurance companies still exist? Do you think there would be outrage by these feminist lesbos if I started a 'male only' company (or does one exist?)?

Dear God

"Carbon dioxide is portrayed as harmful. But there isn't even one study that can be produced that shows that carbon dioxide is a harmful gas" (MB 2009).

Let's hope a certain Michele Bachmann won't make it all the way to Presidency. Quite amazingly, her whole policy is based on the Bible, so basically we are all screwed. I love the summary that BBC has done:

In the for and against section, under 'against' includes:

Gay marriage
Obama healthcare plan
Environmental protection agency
Teaching of Evolution

So in other words, she hates people and is a bigot. I think it's so funny these people are supposedly all about family etc, aslong as it isn't at the expense of their own. How can you be against helping 'your fellow American', devising a healthcare plan that could help literally millions of people, just because the 'rich' will have to suck it up and pay some more tax? It's funny that the US is as third World as any country, with just under 44 million people in 'absolute poverty'. Think Mrs denial should look where she lives first.

Apparently she doesn't care about the planet or condition we live in either (guess it's too closely connected to factual science, so it must be destroyed!).

Remember people, Evolution never happened. We simply exist, straight off the bat, plonked here as an alien species on Earth, that is precisely why we don't have such things as variation in animal species etc (the millions if we include insects don't really count). Everything just existed, science is just a myth. Good one you muppet.

Also, apparently gay people aren't real people. Therefore, they shouldn't be treated as such. God doesn't allow two people who love each other to actually be together.

Let's see how many unintelligent, inbred locals will vote for this waste of space. Why oh why does the UK really want to be friends with these morons?! I say we befriend China......oh no wait, they eat dogs for lunch so better try somewhere else.

Just the best

Let's see Lady f*****g Gaga do this 'live':

Don't you just love the Aussies

You've probably all seen this, but I still laugh when I hear this:

Just to warn you

Being in the science field I often read basic (but massive) errors in reporting, especially by these god-awful tabloid wannabes such as Sky.

If you read any reports, just ignore them (things such as a map of Europe covered in red, where this 'deadly virus' has spread-as if to insinuate this is on a par with say WWII or the number of millions of people dying from HIV/AIDS for example) as they are very misleading.

Firstly the dumbass Sky report claims E.coli is a virus. Wrong. Not even close.

Secondly 'the origin is thought to be in vegetables'. Well two things profoundly wrong with that- the bacteria are found on the surface (that means 'outside' for any Sky reporters reading this) and lastly, even a monkey knows that a cucumber is not a vegetable, it's a fruit.

A mini random update

Nothing in particular, we have a 5 day weekend (you have to love the Swedes) so time to write something.

I should mention Johanna ran the Stockholm marathon last weekend in another personal best of 4hrs and 4mins. This was another 20 minute improvement over last year, so a congrats is in order. My entry was lost in the post......shame that. The whole thing was pretty motivating, so might enter next year. My problem is well, running sucks. Especially as the Stockholm marathon is 'early' in the year meaning you have to train during the warm Swedish winter......that's my problem. However I have managed to pull my finger out of my butthole and do some running already. Take yesterday for example, I ran almost 20 km in 25 degree heat, on my todd and was great.....until I stopped.

Now I can't walk, not because my chicken legs didn't hold up, but I have a sharp pain in my right foot, meaning something isn't right! If it wasn't for all these setbacks I would unquestionably put all my effort into running and just get on with it. But in two words, I can't. I managed to run a 10km event last week, was a crap course and too many people so my halfway split was 23 mins something, which is basically pants. As I put the afterburners on, I ran the second half in 20 something mins and ended up with 43.42, so not too bad. My target is under 40, so I know I can do a second half split of around 20mins, meaning providing my body works it's more than achievable, and for me, that would be a great target.

I will (hopefully, barring injury) enter the Stockholm half marathon in September, where last year I ran 1hr 4omins with jack-all training (as in no running at all, I kid you not), BUT my body really did fall apart because it couldn't handle it, I suffered bad ITBS and my recovery was still affecting me up to only a couple of months ago. That seems fixed now, but other things pop up. Ok, so I sound like I'm moaning about everything and I know almost everyone is never 100%, but it's always a mental blow.

In summary, I suck, Johanna did well.

Completely unrelated, good result for England the other day, haha. The excuse? 'The players were tired'.....I'd be tired if I got paid 100k a week TO TRAIN!! What are these clowns on?! Too tired?! It is hard to do a mixture of mostly walking, light jogging and some running for 90 mins. Ha, what a joke!!

I watched the BBC thing online about the 4 year old girl who had an art exhibition with 9 pieces, selling up to 9 grand a piece or something like that. I love the mothers comments and from others. 'She's special in that she knows exactly what she is doing!!''Her paintings are balanced' 'She's already developed a style that is hers''It's abstract expressionism...but she's also a surrealist'...........hahahaha. What the f**k?!? You give me a four year old and some paint, are they going to splatter the crap out of the paper or neatly draw lovely straight lines, add delicate shadows etc....what the hell?! How stupid are these art people?! My 1 year old dog could do the same, just dip his paws in paint and away we go- now 'I have a dog who's a surrealist, very abstract art'......yes, he walked over some paper, pissed and shit on it to add 'texture' and now it will only cost you 10 grand to have it fester on your wall.

Well let's talk about fun stuff like the weather....it's hot. End of that topic. Next? As a well timed reward for Johanna's marathon antics, she has gone to Lisbon with her mum until today (well tonight) actually. Nope, I didn't get an invite, haha. I did wish them rain, which was probably mean, so I took it back. But I'm pretty sure its been better here anyway (since last Thursday), so am not jealous, especially as they are closer to those Spanish cucumbers (yes I know they actually think it was from beansprouts in Germany, but my joke still stands!)!!

I watched the Hangover II last week. If you haven't seen it (I actually went to the cinema, how good is that?!), basically it's exactly the same as the first, which is no bad thing in my opinion. So don't expect the unexpected, it really is incredibly similar, but if it works, why fix it?

Anything else? Well no, not really. My little reptiles have been making a porno, just humping a lot, so will be expecting eggs in a few weeks. If you are interesting in crested geckos, let me know : ) They have advantages over the dog, for example their shit doesn't stink, you don't need a dustbin bag to pick it up, they don't lick their bits then try to lick your face, they don't need walking, they are quiet in the day and they don't role around in everything when they get wet.

Not that I don't love our little hormonal, hairy bear of a dog........

Good one

When will this World learn?! Harold Camping is an idiot! I had to get that off my chest (just saw a video saying that he got the date of the end of the World wrong, funny that.......)!

Definition of irony

In England, trying to ruin the royal wedding, good one you hypocritical idiot:

Inme

First I should mention a couple of things. Our dog has decided he is from the near future, like a space-dog, or may be working for a satellite provider:

He apparantly has some 'hotspots' where his skin is just a bit manky basically, due to the heat (well it isn't exactly tropical here, but it's warming up). There are two very small patches just below the brown bit on his face which you cant quite see, that are now shaved and that we must use some topical shampoo on there for a bit, plus leave the lovely accessory on for 10 days. The downside to this, apart from looking like a retard, is that every time he walks (or tries more like) through a door opening etc, he just slams into it, causing him to moonwalk backwards (yes, quite funny), but it makes notches and dings in the collar, so it becomes razor sharp. This = lots of pain for us and the walls. It's a good job we have a new kitchen then isn't it............

That was the second thing then. A brand spanking new kitchen. Despite no-one reading this, especially the two people in question, but I must say another thanks to Johanna's dad and brother, who both managed to take out the old kitchen and put in everything in basically less than 2 days. All we had to do in return was get them drunk (well not that bad, but somewhere close). It's almost done, just the tiling left and electricity (for the oven, microwave and lights) to be hooked up. It looks pukka though, new floor, new everything actually. Thanks again, the Andersson family.

On a way more old-man related note, I played golf on the weekend (yes while they were slaving away putting the new kitchen in- well actually they were already done, so don't feel too bad for them, haha). Was so sweet, 18 degrees and not a cloud in the sky, the golf part wasn't that bad either....well minus me finding the water off the first tee, the first shot, topped nicely 20 metres straight into the juice.

What I wanted to post about, which I stumbled across today was the band Inme again. May be not to everyone's taste, but I really think these guys are so friggin underated, it's just unfair. They write some of (if not the best) lyrics probably anywhere, ever. They play their music quite brilliantly and are also English, so should be considered some decent 'home-grown' talent, but still nothing. I've just ordered their 'greatest-hits' cd called 'Phoenix':

I think that was all I wanted to mention. Easter is soon here, that doesn't mean much actually (to me of course), something about some dude who came back from the dead. Sounds a bit like a zombie type situation, so basically this weekend is a zombie celebration, providing I have my facts straight (and I'm pretty sure I am spot on about this- have you not seen 'Pet Sematary'?).

I forgot one last thing. Remember Swedes take their coffee very seriously. They are one of the biggest consumers of coffee in the World and really take offence if you bad-mouth or underestimate their need for it (I kid you not, you really will piss a Swede off if they have the coffee cravings). Well anyway, Johanna, to go along with her new kitchen, has bought the dogs bollocks coffee machine at some extortionate price. I had a cup from it tonight, and yes it was the best cup of coffee ever*

*Applicable only if Johanna asks me how good the coffee was. The 5 quid jobby from the local pawn shop IN NO WAY, SHAPE OR FORM is as good........

We're expanding

No, not just the waistline. May I present one of the two newest additions to the family. Meet Tara (and her boyfriend Terje). They are 10 months old and are just the cutest things (well minus the dog, may be Johanna....).

This picture is not great because it's in the container used to carry them. They are called 'ögonfrans geckor' or 'eyelash geckos' in Swedish and 'crested geckos' in English as you just can make out the small spines over their eyes down their back.

An interesting thing about these guys is that they were thought to be extinct in the wild even up to 1994. If you fancy trying to find them you'll have to take a short trip to the other side of Australia, to a small country called New Calendonia. Johanna has 'allowed' me to have them as they can survive just on fruit too.....so healthier than most people aswell....

One very clever dog

Something a little strange happened the other day. I'm not very good at telling stories but I'll do my best here. It started (well ended) with a couple of missed calls and a text from my dad saying 'sorry I missed your call....'

Well we must go back a little (I'll skip some details) first. It started after a stop off at Ikea after a strenuous day on the slopes. On a Sunday they shut (well the food part at least) at 5.00pm, so we managed to sneak in at 4.45pm. We left the dog in the car, which we locked as usual. We finished eating pretty quick and were done by 5.10pm. Nothing weird right?

Well after getting in (some time after), Johanna unpacks the board bags etc and finds my phone. It says 2 missed calls and a text. Ok, I have a look, the message starts 'sorry I missed your call'. Hmmm, I hadn't had my phone on me all day, just in the car, so a little weird. I check the time of the call and it says 4.55pm. Now It's not adding up right. My phone was in the car at that time. The only thing remotely near it was the dog.

Well a logical thought could be if you press the green 'phone' button on my nokia, it gives you a list of people who you recently rang. Somehow the dog must have layed on it, then it rang. Could be reasonable, we all dial numbers when we forget to lock the phone in our pockets, right? But that's just it. It was locked when we checked it. To make it even more weird, I haven't rang my Dad for probably a year or something, meaning his name was not on the green button shortcut list to numbers I've recently dialled. Even more weirdly, if the dog has done this, he has somehow unlocked the phone, pressed multiple buttons, scrolled down to 'd' and hit the green dial button. Then after not leaving a voice message, has managed to lock the phone again.

The car was locked, the timing was exact as we were definitely in Ikea eating meatballs at that time. There is no way I dialled the number, so what the hell is going on here?! Well dogs are mans best friend right?! Well may be they are crafty little buggers too......

Happy Birthday to You

Well our furry son is officially 1 year old today. So a big Happy Birthday to the hormonal little bugger. Still as cute as ever, but not quite as small and soft as back in the day:

For fecks sake

Oh dear. Oh dear indeed. If only words could explain how bad you can be at something you're supposed to be 'ok' at, then f**king shit would come close to my squash abilities yesterday. Now I don't claim to be Amr Shabana, well for starters I'm not Egyptian, 32, a former World number one, living legend, left handed or going bald. By the way folks, he would be the, lets say, Roger Federer of the squash World. This weekend was arguably the biggest tournament in Sweden for amateurs and running in parallel, the Swedish Open, for the pros.

Leading up to this event I have been actually playing well for a change, yes believe it or not. My head is screwed on and my limbs are intact and working (no, nothing sexual of course). I had quite a bit of confidence not just because of this, but also my first round opponent was a very beatable guy.

However, despite my recent form, it apparently counted for jack shit as I really choked, yes, totally blew it. My style of play (if you can count 'useless' as a style) is somewhat relaxed, which might come across as lazy, which people love to inform me about (yes thanks again), but stepping on court on Friday it felt just God awful, just a piss poor attempt.

Yes, I'm moaning, but it's a frustrating feeling I'm sure we've all had, where we have some expectation from ourselves and it just didn't come together for whatever reason. My excuses include, I'm half blind, half crippled and fully English (= semi-retarded).

The positive from this is, well, it can't get any worse (I really mean that). I'm going to put even more effort in to silence my critics (all one of them.....that would be me of course). Next time the gloves will come off, I will put away any chocolate teapots I have lying around, as I most definitely don't want to jump aboard the useless train.

Next stop, club championships in a couple of weeks. Hopefully I'll draw the former number 1 in Sweden in the first round. Bring it on.

Andy Gray sacking

Hi again, yeah it's been a while blah blah.......I saw this in the 'news' (well on Sky, so doesn't say much. I think the BBC isn't covering it, probably because they aren't allowed to plus they probably don't care), where Andy Gray has been sacked for 'inappropriate' comments, well sexist comments about a female linesmen ('linesperson?') who he jokingly mocked for 'not understanding the offside rule'.

Now despite being actually quite funny (yes all funny jokes are always at someones/somethings expense), the poor guy first got cautioned (or something like that) then for another 'incident' (bascially just some banter with a female colleague) was sacked.

Two things struck me by this. Firstly, he was off-air when the comments were made. Meaning imagine if someone recorded everything you said at home/away from work and used it against you. Everyone of us would say something controversial, worthy of sacking. So where is the scumbag who ratted the poor guy out?

Secondly, it was a comment so taken out of context, as a joke. Since when can you not have any banter or laughs anymore? Oh no wait, the World has gone so friggin PC, you cant say your own name without offending someone.

It's like this other Christian couple who have been shafted (well not literally......whoops, has that offended someone?!) by two gay guys that were refused to lodge at their B & B. While they are appealing against the verdict, it's a weird situation. On the one hand the law states that as they are listed as a public service (I suppose is the reason), they cannot legally turn away anybody (well I'd be pretty pissed if I had to let a known murderer stay at my B & B). Instead, which I am more sympathetic to, that it is their private business and you can 'almost' set your own rules (or apparently not), so if you don't want to let someone stay, you can choose right?!

Well the law is the law (despite how totally cocked some of the rules are) so I doubt their appeal will come to much. The funny thing is its a double standard, the fact that these are Christian, apparently doesn't mean anything, but what if they were Muslim? Would it make a difference? Well I guess we all know the answer to that........