We all love to laugh. It has to be the one saving grace on this planet. There are a number of things that make us laugh, obviously each to their own. One thing that I think makes everyone laugh is the news. Why people do what they do can be mind boggling at times. Recent things that came to my attention include:
An ice-skating bear in Russia turning on it's trainer and killing him.
Complaints (in England) that a weight loss lip balm doesn't work (Yes I'm serious). Experts claim it's a gimmick. No shit Sherlock. Do the writers of this news need to go to experts to know that if you're a chunky monkey and put lip gloss on it won't make you lose the podge?! I mean are people becoming fat and stupid?! I tell you what, I know a great toothpaste that makes your eyesight better.......
The world's longest golf course opening in Australia....no not 8500 yards long, oh no. Try 850 miles!! Yes, I'm serious.
Real Madrid losing at home (nice one Ronaldo...well not that you were playing but anyways)
Barcelona losing at home (suck on that one Ibrahimovic)
Sunderland's classic goal against Liverpool- apparently all the beachballs with the Liverpool logo have sold out, hahahaha. Silly little northern kid. (look it up if you don't know what I mean)
Only in the states = 'fat-ism' should be made a hate crime. This includes telling Doctors not to advise fat people to lose weight!! Yes, I'm serious.
Boris Johnson who once promised to end London's congestion charge, now wants to increase it to 10 pounds a day. That's a whopping 3650 quid a year just to have your car in inner city London. Nice one Mayor.
The new 'naked' security scanner at Manchester airport that can basically see everything, yup, bits and all. This has caused controversy and those Paedo nut jobs have one again. It was in action for may be all of a week but now the scanner will not be used for under 18's. Why? Well its because it violates children, which provides indecent pornographic images (apparently). Are you serious?! For one, kids spend most of there time naked and no-one gives a shit. We aren't all paedos. I think with the number of Muslims/foreigners working at the airport, I think they have worse problems to be looking out for. My last flight from Heathrow involved me getting picked out from the crowd by a big turban wearing Indian who then full body scanned me. Yes, I'm sure it's because I look like a terrorist. I was going to ask if I could scan him after me. Guess that wouldn't have been the smartest idea. Where was I? Ahh yes, so no kiddy images, which by the way can't be stored or sent by computer anywhere. The terrorists etc solution? Give explosives/knives/guns/drugs to under 18's.......genius England, pure genius.
Well that's enough for now. I'm sure there's more stuff I've missed etc. Right now on the news over here they are showing the protests against BNP on TV. If you actually read the comments/thoughts of an ever increasing English/white population BNP vote, I think something big (and bad) is brewing. People are sick of being treated like Johnny foreigners when they are nationals. England is beyond being on its way out- me thinks its all but over for Europe's hole.
An ice-skating bear in Russia turning on it's trainer and killing him.
Complaints (in England) that a weight loss lip balm doesn't work (Yes I'm serious). Experts claim it's a gimmick. No shit Sherlock. Do the writers of this news need to go to experts to know that if you're a chunky monkey and put lip gloss on it won't make you lose the podge?! I mean are people becoming fat and stupid?! I tell you what, I know a great toothpaste that makes your eyesight better.......
The world's longest golf course opening in Australia....no not 8500 yards long, oh no. Try 850 miles!! Yes, I'm serious.
Real Madrid losing at home (nice one Ronaldo...well not that you were playing but anyways)
Barcelona losing at home (suck on that one Ibrahimovic)
Sunderland's classic goal against Liverpool- apparently all the beachballs with the Liverpool logo have sold out, hahahaha. Silly little northern kid. (look it up if you don't know what I mean)
Only in the states = 'fat-ism' should be made a hate crime. This includes telling Doctors not to advise fat people to lose weight!! Yes, I'm serious.
Boris Johnson who once promised to end London's congestion charge, now wants to increase it to 10 pounds a day. That's a whopping 3650 quid a year just to have your car in inner city London. Nice one Mayor.
The new 'naked' security scanner at Manchester airport that can basically see everything, yup, bits and all. This has caused controversy and those Paedo nut jobs have one again. It was in action for may be all of a week but now the scanner will not be used for under 18's. Why? Well its because it violates children, which provides indecent pornographic images (apparently). Are you serious?! For one, kids spend most of there time naked and no-one gives a shit. We aren't all paedos. I think with the number of Muslims/foreigners working at the airport, I think they have worse problems to be looking out for. My last flight from Heathrow involved me getting picked out from the crowd by a big turban wearing Indian who then full body scanned me. Yes, I'm sure it's because I look like a terrorist. I was going to ask if I could scan him after me. Guess that wouldn't have been the smartest idea. Where was I? Ahh yes, so no kiddy images, which by the way can't be stored or sent by computer anywhere. The terrorists etc solution? Give explosives/knives/guns/drugs to under 18's.......genius England, pure genius.
Well that's enough for now. I'm sure there's more stuff I've missed etc. Right now on the news over here they are showing the protests against BNP on TV. If you actually read the comments/thoughts of an ever increasing English/white population BNP vote, I think something big (and bad) is brewing. People are sick of being treated like Johnny foreigners when they are nationals. England is beyond being on its way out- me thinks its all but over for Europe's hole.
